


He Feels Like Magic

by Aberial_63



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Character Death, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Magic, Magnus Bane Is Quite Magical, One shots but they're all kinda connected (can be read individually though), and Alec loves it, angst later on, idk - Freeform, kinda??, like heavy angst this is not a drill kids, this is my first fic how do I tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-27
Updated: 2018-03-12
Packaged: 2018-12-20 10:36:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 33,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11919099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aberial_63/pseuds/Aberial_63
Summary: A collection of one shots about Alec Lightwood experiencing Magnus Bane and his magic





	1. Tenderness

"Izzy, behind you!"

 

She turned at Alec's warning and snapped out her whip, catching a hissing Ravener demon around the neck. The electrum coiled around its throat and Isabelle sent it flying against the brick alleyway. It went back to Hell in a flurry of sparks.

 

Alec turned his attention back to his own opponent, eying it warily as it bared its teeth and circled him. It was too close for comfort, but he just had to wait for the right moment to strike without exposing himself too much. Alec would have preferred to use his bow and get some distance, but they had followed the horde of demons into this cramped alley which didn't give him much of a choice in the matter. 

 

The demon charged and Alec took it out just as easily as he'd taken out its companions. He hadn't really been worried.  These things were mindless and not known for their patience. It was only a matter of time before their stupidity became their downfall. 

 

"You okay over there, big brother?" Izzy called. Her eyes were fierce and glimmered with the thrill of the hunt. Fighting invigorated her and he wasn't sure she ever got tired of it. 

 

Alec, on the other hand, was exhausted. He just wanted it to be over. There had been an increase in demon activity today and they had been out in the field since mid-afternoon and had been fighting almost nonstop. Every time they thought they had a moment to breathe, they would see the fleeing shadow of a Ravener demon or the sound of Shax demon skittering around a corner. Alec had needed to activate his Endurance rune twice today just to keep himself going. 

 

The day had only gotten worse when Clary and Jace had needed to go back to the Institute an hour ago. Clary had been thrown hard against the ground by an overly aggressive Ravener demon. The sound her arm had made when she'd crashed into the pavement let everyone know that it needed more than a simple Iratze to fix. Jace had taken her back to the Institute and he wasn't back yet, leaving Alec and Izzy to face the hell spawn alone.

"Oh, I'm perfect," Alec answered through gritted teeth as he plunged the blade into another demon's throat, the ichor gurgling in its punctured windpipe. 

 

He looked around for another demon, but he found that Izzy was going against the last one a few feet away. Just to hurry it up, Alec drew out his bow and sent an arrow into the the creature's skull. It disintegrated before the corpse could hit the ground. 

 

Izzy smirked at him. "I had it under control."

 

"I know you did."

 

His sister came over to him and drew him close. He wrapped his arms around her protectively. Alec knew she could handle her own fights. She was the best Shadowhunter he knew, no matter how much Jace liked to claim that title for himself. 

 

Izzy pulled back and took in his appearance. "You ripped the new leather jacket Magnus bought for you," she noted. "He's not gonna be happy about it."

 

Alec chuckled. "Somehow, I think the fact that I made it through mostly unscathed will outweigh that. It's just a jacket."

 

"Just a jacket?" she gasped. "Alec, that is a Saint Laurent! Mind your tone."

 

They walked out to the street as Izzy grumbled on about blasphemy and taking gifts for granted. 

 

The siblings patrolled the street for another half an hour. In that time, they didn't see any other demons lurking around. Alec tried to stay alert, but his feet felt like weights and he wasn't entirely sure how he was still standing. He could just barely see the signs of fatigue in his little sister. Her eyelids were starting to droop and her high-heeled boots were dragging inelegantly against the concrete. Both of them were obviously starting to feel the effects of a day spent in battle now that they had a chance to slow down, but Alec wasn't going to stop if Izzy wanted to keep going. 

 

Luckily, she spoke up. "Alec, I think we should call it a night."

 

"Iz, we don't have to stop on my account. I'm fine."

 

"On your account? Alec, as much as I love heels, it's gotten to the point where I want to go home and take a shower before putting on fuzzy slippers. This has nothing to do with you."

 

He knew that wasn't entirely true. His sister knew him well enough to see when he was reaching his breaking point. 

 

She reached out and placed a tender hand on his arm. "Go home. See your boyfriend and get some rest. It'll do you a world of good."

 

Alec sighed, but nodded his head. He didn't have the energy to argue with her, especially not when she was right. He wanted to go home and curl up beside Magnus. He wanted to tuck his face into Magnus' neck and revel in the safety of his arms. 

 

"Alright. We can be done. I'll just walk you home and-"

 

"Alec, I'm a big girl. I can make it back to the Institute on my own. Besides, if you walked me there, I'm not entirely sure you would make it back to the loft before collapsing."

 

Her smile was fond and he decided to drop it. Again, she was right. 

 

"Okay. I'll see you tomorrow. Just text me to let me know you made it back safe?"

 

"Of course. Goodnight, big brother."

He dropped a kiss on her forehead. "Night, Iz. Love you."

 

"Love you too."

 

Alec watched her walk away until she turned the corner. He pulled out his phone and scrolled through his recent texts with Magnus.

 

_ A: I'll be home late. Demons all over the place today. Don't wait up _

 

_ M: Do you need me there? I can portal to you _

 

_ A: No. We can handle it. Promise not to wait up? You need to get your sleep. You have clients in the morning _

 

_ M: I'm sure they can deal with a drowsy warlock... _

 

_ A: Magnus.That wasn't an answer _

 

_ M: Fine fine! I promise I won't wait up for my very handsome and very brave boyfriend (who ought to be home in bed, but that's just my opinion)  _

 

_ A: Good. I love you  _

 

_ M: I love you too, darling _

 

Alec smiled as he read the conversation. There had been too many nights when Alec would get back from a hunt to find Magnus curled up on the couch and half-asleep, but awake all the same. He needed to stop doing that because he was terribly grumpy in the morning without enough sleep. Alec would never admit how cute a grumpy Magnus was to him because it would completely undermine his point. 

 

He sent Magnus another text.

 

_ A: Everything is okay. I'm on my way home now. You better be asleep  _

 

He got an answer a few seconds later and he rolled his eyes.

 

_ M: Zzzzzz _

 

_ A: Magnus you promised! _

 

_ M: I'm asleep right now. Didn't you see the "Zzzzzz"? _

 

_ A: Why are you like this _

 

_ M: Because I love you? _

 

_ A: Yeah. Mhmm _

 

Alec didn't even have to see Magnus to know he was pouting.

 

_ A: I love you too _

 

_ M: :) _

 

_ A: Be home in fifteen _

 

Alec clicked off his phone and started walking back to the loft. His muscles protested as he navigated his way through Brooklyn. As Head of the Institute, he hadn't been out in the field a lot recently. He still trained, but that was nothing compared to the strain a real fight put on a person's body. Bruises were swelling up on his forearms and his shoulders felt like they had knives wedged in them. His knuckles were split and dried blood caked the back of his hand. 

 

Somehow, he managed to make it up to the loft without succumbing to his tiredness and just napping on the street. He fumbled with his key for a minute before finally slipping it into the lock and letting himself in. 

 

Alec sighed and kicked off his boots and dropped his bow and seraph blade into the weapons chest that had become a permanent fixture at their door. Magnus had very quickly grown tired of ichor staining his expensive wooden floors when Alec would haphazardly deposit them next to his shoes.

 

He stumbled drowsily towards the bedroom, seeing that Magnus wasn't waiting on he couch. He must've been in bed. That was better than nothing, Alec guessed.   

 

Alec entered the bedroom as quietly as he could. The lights were dim, but on. Magnus was lounging against his pillows, wearing nothing but a silky pair of black boxers. If Alec had had the energy, he would've definitely considered acting on the want those boxers made him feel. 

 

"Alexander," Magnus breathed. His eyes darted all over Alec's body, checking for any sign of injury. His smile faltered when he saw his bloody knuckles, but they weren't anything an Iratze couldn't handle. 

 

"Hey," Alec answered, a smile creeping onto his lips. Finally seeing Magnus made Alec realize that he was actually home. After the day he'd had, it felt like this moment would never come. "You're supposed to be asleep."

 

Magnus rolled his eyes. "How am I supposed to sleep without a goodnight kiss? That would be ridiculous. Now, come here."

 

"Oh no. No kiss for you," Alec teased. "You broke your promise."

 

"You're not serious."

 

"I'm very serious."

 

_ "Alexander,"  _ Magnus whined, slumping against the headboard. He stuck his lip out and pouted. By the Angel, he was too adorable. Alec could hardly handle it. 

 

"Alec," he groaned, now batting his lashes at him.

 

Well, now Alec really didn't stand a chance.

 

He went to the bed and sat on the edge next to Magnus. He softly guided Magnus' lips to his. They met in a lazy kiss that left Alec completely sated. Magnus was warm and his goatee was rough and familiar against his face. Alec could do this forever.

 

Magnus pulled back just barely and Alec could feel his smile against his lips.

 

"I thought you said I didn't get a kiss."

 

Alec laughed breathily into their shared space. "What can I say? You're irresistible."

 

Magnus grinned fully now. "I suppose you're not too bad yourself. Though, I must say, you are in dire need of a shower."

 

"Give me ten minutes to clean up and then I'll come to bed."

 

Magnus nodded and Alec gave him a few more quick kisses before making his way into the bathroom. 

 

He stripped out of his sweaty clothes and got into the shower. The water was scalding and he hissed at the way it burned his skin. 

 

Alec stepped out of the shower and quickly got changed into clean pajamas. He brushed his teeth and deposited his dirty laundry into the hamper. He stumbled out of the bathroom.

 

The bedroom was dark now. Magnus had the golden sheets tucked under his chin and his breathing was slower. Alec knew he was barely awake and was just waiting for him to come to bed. Alec wasn't one to deny Magnus anything. He practically fell down on the mattress. He pulled the covers over himself and snuggled his back against Magnus' chest. Magnus pressed a few kisses against his neck and shoulders before settling in for sleep.  

 

Alec tried to sleep and his body begged him to rest, but he couldn't get comfortable. His muscles still ached terribly and it felt like his back was being twisted and clenched by a boa constrictor.  If he even moved an inch, his whole body screamed in pain. 

 

Alec pulled out of Magnus' arms so that he could shift and try to find a more comfortable position. It felt useless. Every time he thought he'd finally got the right position, pain flared in some entirely new part of his body. Alec moaned pitifully and buried his face in his pillow. 

 

"Alexander," Magnus grumbled, waking up from Alec's constant movement and groaning. "What's wrong?"

 

"Nothing, love. Go back to sleep," Alec responded, feeling thoroughly guilty. He hadn't wanted to wake his boyfriend. 

 

Magnus placed a hand on Alec's back and he couldn't fight the way his sore muscle jumped in discomfort.

 

Magnus hummed thoughtfully. "Worked too hard today? Too sore to sleep?"

 

Alec nodded tiredly, a frustrated sigh pushing out of his nose.

 

"Want me to help?"

 

"It's alright, Magnus. Just go back to sleep. I'll be okay."

 

Alec thought he might regret that. He really needed some way to get rid of the pain, but he didn't want to burden Magnus. He could deal with this if it meant Magnus got his rest.

 

Then, Magnus sent a small pulse of magic through the palm he still had on Alec's back. Alec gasped at the small taste of relief. 

 

"Are you sure you don't want me to help?" Magnus asked, his breath hot on Alec's neck. 

 

"By the Angel," Alec shuddered as Magnus sent another pulse into his shoulder. "Don't stop."

 

"As you wish."

 

The magic became more constant now rather than a single burst. It was a steady flow of relief that dug right into the core of his muscles. 

 

It felt like heat untying the knots that plagued his muscles and kept him feeling so tense he had barely been able to stand it. The magic was gentle. It didn't force the knots undone, instead coaxing the tightness to dissipate. Magnus' hand was still, but the magic felt like it had its fingers caressing every inch of Alec's body, leaving a warm fluidity in its wake. 

 

Alec had no control over his body at this point. He was too blissed-out to move or hold back the soft moans of pleasure. Alec wasn't even sure if he was a solid anymore. Based on how loose his muscles felt, he wouldn't be surprised if Magnus' magic was actually turning him into a human puddle. 

 

Magnus started to move his hand and if Alec had thought he was falling apart before, then he had no idea what this brand new wave of feeling was. Now it wasn't just comforting magic, it was also Magnus. Magnus's touch was soothing in an of itself. The two combined was just too much for Alec to even comprehend. 

 

After a few minutes, it all started to blend together. The magic just started to feel like Magnus and Magnus felt like magic. 

 

Alec began to realize that he didn't feel the aching pain anymore and that using all of this magic was probably draining Magnus. 

 

"Magnus, that's good. You've done more than enough," Alec said lowly.

 

"Are you sure?" Magnus asked with concern heavy in his voice.

 

"Yes."

 

Magnus' magic slowly withdrew and left him much colder. And if Alec used that as an excuse to cuddle closer to his boyfriend, no one had to know. 

 

Alec turned to face him. His expression was soft and his cat eyes shown beautifully in the moonlight that came from the window. Alec felt his heart swell at the love in Magnus' face. What had he done to deserve that coming from a man like Magnus? Surely, this had to be a gift from Raziel himself. 

 

"You're wonderful," Alec murmured as he placed a tender hand on Magnus' neck. His thumb ran over his Adam's apple absently. 

 

Magnus smiled and pressed even closer to Alec. He kissed him gently on the lips before nuzzling his face into Alec's shoulder. Alec slid his hand down to Magnus' waist and made sure he was as close as possible. 

 

Magnus held him like he didn't want him to ever leave. 

 

Alec didn't want Magnus to leave either. 


	2. Fury

"Mr. Lightwood, we're going to be late if you keep this up," Magnus panted into his ear.

 

Alec mouthed down Magnus' neck and felt just how hot his skin was under his lips. He pushed Magnus up against his office door.

 

"Why, Mr. Bane, are you asking me to stop? Because last time I checked you rather enjoyed our current," Alec paused to give a teasing nip to his neck, "activities."

 

Magnus gasped and his grip on Alec's shoulders tightened. "Angel blood, my ass," he grumbled. 

 

Alec laughed darkly as he kissed his way up Magnus' jaw and to his lips. The kiss was needy and hungry. Alec was searching for as much of this feeling as possible before facing what they had in store today. 

 

"Besides," Alec said against his lips, "the cabinet can wait a few extra minutes. They're accustomed to us being... preoccupied." 

 

"Well,  _ they  _ may be, but you know who isn't? Everyone's  _ favorite  _ Inquisitor: Imogen Herondale."

 

Alec groaned and pulled away. There was nothing quite like mentioning Imogen to kill the mood. 

 

"Why does she need to be here again? Can't she just go back to Alicante and bother the people there?"

 

"Alexander," Magnus chuckled, "you invited her here. She needs to see that this cabinet is working. Maybe it'll finally start reaching some of the other Institutes and we'll see some progress."

 

"I hate when you make sense. It's too hard to argue then."

 

"You want to argue with me?"

 

"Well not usually, but you look so damn good in your suit. Arguing with you right now means it's over getting it off of you or going to see a stuffy old woman who's going to judge everything we do. I think you know which scenario I prefer."

 

Magnus kissed Alec's cheek and stayed close rather than pulling away. "How about a compromise? We go to this meeting, show Imogen Herondale just how great the Downworld cabinet is, and  _ then  _ we can come back here and you can show me just how much you like this suit. Do we have a deal, Mr. Lightwood?"

 

Alec flushed and he felt like he needed to loosen his collar. 

 

"We have a deal, Mr. Bane. Seal it with a kiss?"

 

Magnus rolled his eyes fondly. "I wouldn't accept anything less."

 

.

 

When they reached the meeting room, Magnus gave Alec's shoulder one final squeeze before taking his seat at the table. Alec saw the other Downworlders approaching in the hall and he flashed a welcoming smile and shook their hands.

 

"Luke, Raphael, Meliorn, nice to see you again. Thank you for coming, especially with our additional guest today."

 

Luke smiled back. "It's our pleasure to be here, Alec. We appreciate the effort you're putting in here. I think all of us can agree that this working out far better than expected. If this can become common practice throughout the Shadow World, then I don't doubt that we'll see huge improvements. Don't you think, Raphael? Meliorn?"

 

Raphael gave a tight-lipped smile, which might as well have been an enthusiastic cry of agreement coming from him. Meliorn merely shrugged and gave a small affirmative hum. 

 

Alec took in their responses before turning back to Luke. He wished the other two would be more vocal, but it was the best he was going to get. 

 

"Great," Alec said. "And just to be clear, despite the Inquisitor being here, this is a normal cabinet meeting. Don't let her presence prevent you from speaking your mind. Honesty is key. We go about this with complete transparency not only towards each other, but towards the Clave. They have to know how this works in reality. We are not creating some idyllic fantasy where we all always get along. This is real and it's not always easy. That doesn't mean it's not worth it."

 

Alec's tone had gone firm. He needed his fellow leaders to understand what he was telling them. Conflicts in the cabinet were not fatal. He needed to prove to the Clave that they could bend without breaking.

 

The three men nodded seriously. They all understood the weight that this meeting held. 

 

"Don't worry, Lightwood," Raphael answered. "None of us have any problem telling you off, in front of your boss or not."

 

Alec chuckled as the tension broke. "Glad to hear it, Santiago. Now, you all can head inside. I have to wait for our  _ esteemed  _ guest."

 

The four of them shared a conspiratorial glance. After the whole tracking chip debacle, none of them were very fond of Inquisitor Herondale.

 

Luke, Raphael, and Meliorn made their way in to the room.

 

Alec didn't turn around, but he heard Raphael say, "Magnus! Got here early, did you? I wonder how you possibly could've been occupying the time until we got here."

 

"I will turn you into a bat, you fanged hellion."  

 

Alec bit his lip to hold back a laugh. He knew there was no heat behind Magnus' threat. He loved Raphael like a son. 

 

"Is there something funny, Mr. Lightwood?"

 

He looked up and Imogen Herondale was walking towards him.  

 

"Madame Inquisitor, I'm sorry. I didn't see you there," he replied placatingly. 

 

"Apparently not. I do hope you pay more attention during your little cabinet meeting."

 

"Of course." Alec was already struggling. This woman knew how to push his buttons with her demeaning tone and condescending words. The cabinet meetings were by no means  _ little.  _ They were groundbreaking and progressive, no matter how she denied it. 

 

"I will be taking very thorough notes on today's proceedings. Make a good impression, Mr. Lightwood. You won't have a second chance."

 

"Understood, Madame Inquisitor."

 

Imogen walked past him into the room. The Downworlders stopped talking when she entered. She didn't even spare them a nod before sitting off to the side. Alec had made sure to give her a seat separate from the main table. He wasn't sure he could protect her from the Downworlders' (or his own) wrath if she sat with them. 

 

Alec took a calming breath before heading in to join the rest. Magnus sent him a questioning look that said,  _ All good?  _

 

He shrugged helplessly. He'd known going into this that the Inquisitor wasn't going to come into this unbiased. That just meant he had to work even harder to prove her wrong. 

 

They all took their seats at the dark wooden table. Luke sat to his left and Meliorn to his right. Magnus was on the other side with Raphael because he still had to show he didn't feel any 'warlock favoritism'.

 

"Welcome, gentlemen. We've already been through the pleasantries so let's get into it, shall we? What's on the agenda today?"

 

Magnus was the one to speak up. "I believe the wolves and Night Children have the most pressing business today. I'm under the impression that the Seelie Court has no issues to discuss?" He turned towards Meliorn to confirm this. The knight nodded silently. "And I can assure you that the warlocks have no complaints."

 

The innuendo was subtle but Alec caught on when he saw the glimmer in his boyfriend's eyes and the brief up and down he did while watching Alec. He was sure Raphael had heard it too, if the quirk of his eyebrow was anything to go by. Alec let the smallest of smiles pass across his lips. Thankfully, the Inquisitor seemed completely oblivious.

 

"Alright then. Let's start with the wolves. Luke, what's been going on?

 

"As you know, the New York City pack is the largest and most powerful under this Institute's jurisdiction. However, we are not the only pack. There are a few smaller, suburban packs as well. They aren't more than five or six wolves each. I've been getting news that they have been considering moving into the city. A few alphas have reached out to me and have showed an interest in merging peacefully. They are searching for safety in numbers. Unfortunately, some of the other packs aren't looking for safety. They're looking for power."

 

Alec nodded thoughtfully. Of course not all of the werewolves would come peacefully. 

 

"And you think they'll resort to inter-pack violence to get it? Do you think they'll challenge you as leader of the New York pack?" 

 

"That's what the rumors say, at least. I'm not worried about my position. I  _ am  _ worried about some less than friendly wolves entering the city. If they're agitated, I fear they could act out against the mundanes in retaliation."

 

"We can't have that," Alec said. The table went silent as everyone thought for a moment. No harm could come to the mundanes. 

 

Meliorn spoke for the first time. "How do you suggest we handle this, Mr. Lightwood?

 

Alec opened his mouth to speak, but was promptly interrupted.

 

"Why would we allow more wolves into the city to begin with? That poses an obvious threat to the security of the city."

 

Everyone bristled at the Inquisitor's insertion of herself into the conversation. Alec glanced over and saw Magnus clench his jaw. His hatred for her ran deeper than everyone else's. 

 

"Excuse me?" Luke asked bewilderedly. "What are you saying here?"

 

Imogen was not disconcerted in the least at the obvious shift in mood of the cabinet. 

 

"Lucian, I think I made myself clear. Werewolves are enough of a danger to New York as it is. We don't need more coming in, especially when some have expressed malicious intent."

 

Alec had to stop this. Not only was she being a complete and utter racist and disrespecting the Downworlders, she was crossing a professional line. She was here as an observer. He had explicitly said her only job was to listen and report back to the Clave. 

 

"Madame Inquisitor, while your input is... acknowledged, I think it best that this discussion remain between myself and the other cabinet members. I feel that would give you a better impression of this cabinet's functioning for your report. Besides, this is a local matter that need not bother an established and high-level Clave member such as yourself." 

 

The Inquisitor scowled, but waved them on. Alec let out a sigh of relief. He thought he'd diffused that situation rather well. 

 

Luke was tapping his fingers impatiently on the table and Alec hoped that he was still feeling open to talking with him. Alec raised an eyebrow questioningly and the alpha took a moment to scrutinize him. He was obviously making sure that Alec was not on the Inquisitor's side before talking. Luke nodded and huffed out a resigned breath. 

 

"What are your thoughts here, Alec?" Luke asked, resuming the conversation.

 

"Well, I don't see an issue with expanding your pack as long as they keep the peace and you believe you are capable of keeping a larger pack under control. I believe you and your beta, Maia Roberts, will have no issue in that department. You have my complete confidence."

 

Alec heard a scoff from the Inquisitor, but made a point of ignoring her. 

 

"Thank you," Luke said, also ignoring Imogen. 

 

"As for the potential for violence, I can tell my soldiers to keep an eye out for any suspicious wolves. Right now, it seems that it is all just rumors and gossip. We won't make any rash decisions until these claims come to fruition. If at any point you feel that some over-aggressive wolves enter the city or you feel challenged, let me know and we can move from there. Meliorn, I will request that you ask the Queen to tell her knights to be watchful."

 

"The Queen will consider it," he responded. Meliorn seemed bored by this conversation. He was never very involved if it didn't involve the Seelies, but Alec knew he was listening.

 

"That is the most I can ask from her," Alec admitted. For the next few minutes, they talked a bit more about the logistics of their action plan and everything was getting back on track. The Inquisitor's rudeness seemed to be forgotten for the moment and a solid plan was decided upon.

 

"Now, Raphael, what seems to be the issue with the vampires?"

 

"The Daylighter found a newly turned vampire feeding on a human. Nearly killed the girl."

 

"Has she been taken care of?" Magnus asked.

 

"Yes, the mundane is fine. We took her into our care for a couple of nights. She's fine and she's not going to turn at this point. She won't remember a thing. The issue is with the vampire who did it. He was left alone to rise. He didn't know what he was doing. We've got him fed and now he feels awful. He won't even leave his room because he's so overwhelmed with guilt. I don't know how to proceed. It is hard to deal out a punishment when he feels such remorse."

 

Magnus nodded sympathetically. "No, I don't imagine it's easy. The poor boy had no control over his actions. I couldn't punish him and still be able to sleep at night."

 

Alec was admiring his lover's compassion when he was pulled from his thoughts.

 

"Well, it's not up to you, it is up to the Law. And the Law demands punishment."

 

Alec's heart dropped.  _ Oh no.  _ Alec knew immediately that Magnus wasn't going to let that comment go. His eyebrows creased and his frown was icy. That look could silence a room in under a second and leave everyone with baited breath. That look killed its victims mercilessly. 

 

The Inquisitor was basically asking for a death sentence.

 

"The Law?" Magnus asked. His voice was disturbingly calm and it would have had Alec quaking in his boots if it had been directed at him. "The Law you hold so dear is flawed beyond your comprehension. That is because you don't see it in effect. You hover above it all in your glass towers but you aren't there when a vampire comes to their senses and realized they hurt someone without meaning to. You don't see the way they absolutely tear themselves apart over what they've done. You don't see the way a little warlock boy cracks when he's told he's an abomination and is punished for the way he is born. You and your Laws have no consideration for the human side of the situation and fail to compensate for context. When your Law starts to understand our situation, maybe  _ then _ I will stand down and let you tell me what the Law demands."  

 

The Inquisitor was speechless. Alec could relate. He was sure he'd never been more in love with Magnus than he was at that moment. 

 

Magnus' gaze was still searing a hole into Imogen. He didn't seem to have an ounce of regret and Alec couldn't blame him for that. She deserved every single word. Alec only wished he could be as brave and stand up to her like that too. 

 

Alec cleared his throat. It broke the stunned silence. "It is decided that the New York Institute will seek no punishment in this case and requires no further action from the New York Clan."

 

Magnus finally looked at Alec. Rage still bubbled under the surface, but Alec also saw pride. It was pride for how Alec had finally stood up for what was right, the Clave be damned. 

 

Meliorn was the next to speak, "I believe we are done here."

 

Everyone nodded and began to stand up. The Inquisitor was the first one out of the room. Luke and Meliorn left next. Raphael whispered something to Magnus, shook Alec's hand, and left. 

 

Magnus opened his mouth to speak, but Alec didn't even let him start. He just crashed their lips together in a world-stopping kiss. 

 

Magnus Bane was too much for Alec to even grasp. He glowed with passion and righteous fervor. He was brave and elegant and beautiful. So god damn beautiful.

 

"What was that for?" Magnus gasped when Alec pulled back.

 

"You're brilliant," Alec answered simply and breathlessly. 

 

Magnus shook his head. "No, I'm dumb. I don't regret what I said, but I shouldn't have done it. Not today. So much was riding on this and I just fucked it all up and-"

 

"Magnus, she deserved it. She was way out of line. She wasn't even supposed to be involved in the proceedings today. You had every right to tell her off. She knew it, too. Why else do you think she ran out of here like her life depended on it?"

 

His boyfriend laughed. "I guess you're right. I just hope that this doesn't ruin everything we've worked so hard for."

 

Alec slid his hand into Magnus'. "We'll figure it out. And even if we lose our chance, I won't be mad about it. I'll still be so incredibly proud of you."

 

Magnus smiled, but Alec could still feel the anger radiating off of him. "Come on. Let's get out of here."

 

They left the meeting room. Alec proposed taking a walk to cool off, so they headed towards the front door. Unfortunately, the Inquisitor was standing right there, preparing her guard for her departure. She spotted them and her eyes narrowed cooly.

 

Alec felt a sharp spark against his palm and almost drew back. Magnus's magic snapped and popped against his skin. Magnus wasn't even aware he was doing it; his whole attention was on staring down Imogen from afar. 

 

The sensation only grew more intense when she started to approach them. It was starting to hurt, but Alec knew that if he drew his hand away, Imogen would see the crackling magic and take it as a threat. She was in such a sour mood that Alec wouldn't let her get even more provoked and lash out at Magnus. So, he steeled himself and met her eyes.

 

"Madame Inquisitor, is everything ready for your departure? Is there anything I can do it help this along?" Alec offered cordially.  

 

"Would you like that, Mr. Lightwood? That I leave as soon as possible? I'm sure your  _ warlock  _ feels that way."

 

Magnus kept his mouth closed and another burst of magic licked at his skin. 

 

Alec tried to keep his face neutral. "I only want you to have a safe journey back to Idris. The timeliness with which you return is up to you."

 

Imogen didn't respond to that. Her eyes were trained on Magnus and the battle of wills began. Who would dare to look away first? Who would be the one to bow down to the strength of the other?

 

Alec didn't know the answer to that. All he knew was that as it went on longer, the more Magnus's magic nipped at his palm and it was getting to be too much. He had to separate these two immediately. 

 

"Well, Madame Inquisitor," Alec started, "If there is nothing I can do for you, Magnus and I will be on our way. Safe travels."

 

He practically dragged Magnus past her and out the front doors. When they were out into the fresh air, Magnus released his hand and stormed down the street. Alec followed helplessly after him. Magnus made his way into a secluded alley a block away. He didn't even say anything as he blasted a trashcan into ash with a ball of raging orange magic. 

 

"I'm sorry, but I can't stand that woman," Magnus seethed. "I was two seconds from blasting her head off."

 

"Trust me, I know," Alec laughed mirthlessly. His tone must have caught Magnus' attention and he turned back to look at Alec. 

 

"What?"

 

Alec sighed and held up his hand. It was red and sore. The magic hadn't done too much damage, but it would definitely blister if left unattended. It was similar to that time he hadn't been paying attention and reached into the oven without an oven mitt. 

 

" _ Shit, _ " Magnus swore, rushing over to Alec and gingerly taking his hand. "I did that?"

 

"It's alright, Mags," Alec soothed. "You didn't mean it."

 

"No, it's not alright," he argued as he healed his skin with a wisp of healing blue magic. The sting vanished instantly. 

 

He held up his hand. "All better, see? No harm done."

 

"It shouldn't have happened, Alexander. I shouldn't have lost control like that."

 

"Magnus, she was pushing you. If I had any magic, I think I would've done far worse than a little burn. You handled yourself so well. She didn't get to see you lose control. You didn't give her the satisfaction."

 

"But I hurt you," Magnus whispered. 

 

Alec placed his palm against his lover's cheek and gently brushed the tension from his face. He shrugged nonchalantly. 

 

"Eh, it's part of the job description. Shadowhunters get hurt in the name of the greater good. And trust me, seeing her so infuriated was one of the greatest goods in the world." 

 

Magnus laughed wetly and pulled Alec in to an embrace. 

 

Alec held him and rubbed his back until he felt his frustration melt away into the pavement and the worry blew away with the breeze. 

 

"Now, I believe that you said I could show you how much I appreciate that gorgeous suit once the meeting was over," Alec murmured with a kiss to Magnus' jaw. 

 

"You're still in the mood after all of that?" Magnus chuckled.

 

"Oh, definitely. Seeing you give a big middle finger to the Clave makes me wonder what else those fingers can do."

 

Magnus thew his head back with giddy laughter, giving Alec a beautiful expanse of neck to admire.

 

"Alexander Gideon Lightwood, you are absolutely shameless!"

 

"What can I say? I learned from the best." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The response to the first chapter was so nice and I'm really glad people like it! I was so nervous to post it and it really made me feel better to know people enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thank you! Kudos and comments are always welcome :)


	3. Desperation

Sweat trickled down his neck and Alec started to wonder if this was really such a good idea. Nothing was wrong exactly, but he  _ really  _ needed a break from this particular trainee.

 

"Come on, Fray! Keep it together. If the demons could laugh at you, they would. That footwork is sloppy!"

 

Clary glared at him as she sliced through the Raum demon in front of her. She shot him a look that very clearly said she wished it was him at the end of her blade.

 

"Maybe I would be doing better if I had some help. Jace and Izzy wouldn't stand by and watch me get my ass kicked."

 

"Oh, you're fine," Alec said as he knocked a demon back with a swift elbow to the face. He drew his arrow and killed it before it could recover. "And I know they wouldn't. That's exactly why I ordered them to stay behind."

 

"Tell me again why it's so important I do this alone?"

 

"You're too dependent on them. How are you supposed to improve if Jace won't let a demon get within two feet of you?"

 

Alec knew it was in her best interest to actually have to defend herself for once. Despite killing Valentine by herself a few weeks ago, Clary was still new. She didn't have the years of training behind her to keep her technique clean. Not even Alec could deny that Clary fought with passion, but she lacked the consistency that would keep her alive. Maybe she would actually learn to fight like a Shadowhunter if she didn't have his siblings behind her, letting her make the same mistakes over and over again. 

 

Besides, she wasn't alone. Alec was there. If she couldn't handle it, he was there to back her up. 

 

"I'm perfectly capable, thank you very much," she spat. Her flaming red hair whipped around her as she dodged one of the demons' slimy tentacles.

 

"Prove it," Alec smirked as he watched her fight. 

 

He stood back and observed the fight from a few feet away. He was avoiding the demons as much as possible. This was Clary's chance to practice. If one approached him, he'd take it down, but he wasn't actively engaging. 

 

She was doing well, if Alec had to be honest with himself. Sure, her footwork could still use some work and she needed more time to build up her muscles, but Clary was defending herself pretty well. Alec could see a few scratches and bruises on her skin, but it was everything all Shadowhunters got while fighting. 

 

Just as he was mentally appraising her defensive work, Clary was on the ground, her seraph blade knocked to the side. A demon had managed to wrap its tentacle around her ankles and pulled her feet out from under her. The last four demons towered over her menacingly. One stood closer than the rest, baring it's fangs and hissing.

 

"Damn it," Alec swore as he jumped into the middle of the fight. He drew out his blade and tossed it to Clary as he tackled the closest demon to the ground. He heard the sound of Clary banishing one of the other demons as he tumbled to the grass with a creature in tow.      

 

A sharp pain seared through his shoulder as the Raum demon sank it's teeth into his shoulder and gnawed like it wanted to get at his bone. Alec groaned as it wrapped its slimy tentacles around his wrists and held him against the ground. 

 

Alec looked beyond the demon's hulking form to see Clary up against the last of the other three demons. He decided she could spare a second to lend him a hand.

 

"Clary!" Alec shouted.

 

The girl turned in surprise, her blade straight out in front of her. Alec drew his knee up and placed his foot against the demon's chest. He kicked out and sent the creature stumbling back into Clary's blade. He reached into his thigh holster, drew out his dagger, and threw it directly into the forehead of the final demon. The fight was over with a flurry of ash being swept into the wind.

 

Alec relaxed into the grass and tried to catch his breath. His shoulder throbbed and he felt dizzy. 

 

Clary rushed over to him and knelt next to him.

 

"Alec, are you alright?" she asked worriedly. 

 

He waved her away and pushed himself up and to his feet.

 

"I'm fine. I'm good," he answered, but his words were slurred. 

 

Before he even knew what was happening, the world was tilting and Alec's knees gave out. He reached out for something to hold on to and his hand found Clary's forearm. She hadn't been expecting it so they both fell back to the ground. 

 

"Alec!" Clary gasped as her knees hit the dirt. 

 

Alec struggled to breathe. It felt like his world was spinning and it made him nauseous. 

 

"Alec, what's going on?"

 

"Raum demons," he struggled to get out. "They- they have venom on their teeth. O-one decided to take a bite out of me." Alec let his cheek rest against the grass and barked out a weak laugh. "S'dead now. That'll show 'em."

 

"You're delirious."

 

"Obviously," Alec murmured. 

 

"I'm gonna take a look at that bite, okay?" Clary said shakily. Alec grumbled out an affirmative noise. She moved his jacket to the side to get a better look at his shoulder. His t-shirt was torn and blood oozed from the wound, hot and wet against Alec's skin. 

 

Clary drew an Iratze on his shoulder, but Alec felt no relief at that. He moaned and squeezed his eyes shut. 

 

Alec felt like he was dying. He felt like throwing up. The pain radiated from his shoulder to the rest of his body and he could feel the poison all the way in his toes. It burned and felt like pure evil blackening his insides. Alec was nearly unconscious. Opening his eyes made his head swim with vertigo. 

 

"Fuck, it hurts," Alec panted.

 

"I know, I know," Clary soothed, though her voice was breathy and panicked. "It's gonna be okay. I'm gonna call Magnus and you're gonna be just fine."

 

Clary sat back on her heels and quickly rummaged through her pockets. She pulled out her phone and dialed.

 

"Magnus! Something's happened. Alec needs you." She paused and listened for a moment. "Central Park. West 74th intersection. Please, Magnus, hurry. It's bad."

 

She hung up and returned her attention to Alec.

 

"He's on his way, alright? You're going to be okay. You're going to be okay. Just hold on, Alec." Clary continued to ramble in an attempt to calm him and it was the only thing he could grasp that kept him tethered to reality. He nodded as he listened. Magnus was on his way. Magnus was going to make it stop hurting. He had to wait for Magnus. 

 

"Alexander!" a familiar voice called out. 

 

Magnus fell to his knees beside him and ran his fingers through Alec's hair. Magnus was breathing hard and in stuttering gasps. 

 

"Shit. Shit. Shit.  __ Alexander, please look at me. I need you to open your eyes, love."

 

Alec blinked his eyes open to appease him. "By the Angel, why are there three of you? Not that I'm complaining. I mean, what a view."

 

Magnus let out a strained chuckle. "Oh, sweetheart, you're delirious. Don't worry. You're gonna be okay."

 

"So I've been told," Alec grimaced. He shuddered as another wave of pain crashed over him. He nuzzled helplessly into Magnus' hand to find some kind of comfort. 

 

"Clary, help me get him up. We have to get him back to the loft."

 

The two of them hoisted Alec to his feet. He yelped at the uncomfortable angle of his injured shoulder. Magnus opened a portal and they all stepped through. 

 

Portal travel wasn't easy on the stomach on a good day. Now, with his already overwhelming nausea, Alec couldn't keep it together anymore. As soon as they landed in the loft, Alec threw up the contents of his stomach onto Magnus' Persian rug.

 

"I'm sorry," Alec mumbled when he finished. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I-"

 

"Shh," Magnus hushed. He magicked the mess away as he led Alec to the couch. "It's alright."

 

Clary helped him to lie down as Magnus ran to his study to grab something. He came back with a piece of ginger and placed it in Alec's mouth. 

 

"To help with the nausea," he explained. He turned to Clary. "What kind of demon was it? How long was it before you called me?"

 

She stumbled over her words. "Raum demon. And uh- maybe five minutes? D-definitely no longer than that."

 

Alec's eyes closed again and he started to drift off. Their words became hazy and unclear. He couldn't focus on what they were saying. He felt hands on him, removing his clothing and wiping away the blood. 

 

Alec only caught snippets of the words exchanged between them. 

 

"... venom is spreading too fast..."

 

"... Oh, god. Alexander..."

 

"... too much blood, Magnus..."

 

"... Hold him down..."

 

Small hands gripped his forearms and it felt like he was bruising. He tried to squirm away, but the grip was unrelenting. 

 

"I've got him, Magnus. Do it."

 

Magic entered his body and Alec started to scream. 

 

It was  _ nothing  _ like the magic Alec had grown accustomed to from Magnus. There was no warmth. There was no sense of safety. This was pure agony. 

 

This magic was fingernails tearing at the inside of his veins, forcefully ripping the venom from every atom of his being. It was a serrated knife carving out an infection and leaving his flesh in tatters.

 

" _ Please stop, please stop, _ " Alec sobbed. " _ No more."  _

 

"I have to keep going, darling. I'm so sorry." 

 

The magic started digging deeper, working it's way around Alec's heart. Alec arched off the couch as it felt like his whole body shattered and imploded in on itself. Blinding white flashed behind his eyelids.

 

Tears streamed down his face and he was blubbering in a way that would mortify him on any other day. It hurt. It hurt so much. 

 

"Magnus, are you sure this is helping?"

 

"It's almost done. I just need a few more minutes. He has way more venom in his system than most people would. Just a few more minutes."

 

To Alec, those few minutes felt like hours. It was a cycle of never-ending pain. Alec wished he was dead. Anything would be better than the feeling of Magnus' magic completely tearing him apart in search of any remaining speck of venom. 

 

" _ Stop _ ," Alec begged hysterically. " _ I can't do it. I can't do this. _ "

 

"Yes you can, Alexander. Be strong for me. I just need a little more time. You're going to be okay. You  _ have  _ to be okay."

 

Alec didn't know how to be strong when all he could feel was pain. 

 

There was one final burst of magic that had Alec crying out and then it was over. 

 

The all-consuming pain evaporated like it had never even been there in the first place. The only proof of it was the exhaustion that had settled deep in Alec's bones. Clary let go of his arms and Alec sighed at the release of pressure.  

 

Alec felt utterly wrecked mentally, but he felt healthy. He couldn't feel the venom sucking the life out of him anymore. He couldn't feel it turning his insides to dust. 

 

"Magnus," he croaked out. He needed his boyfriend. He needed Magnus to hold him and tell him that he was alright now. He needed to feel the gentle sweetness of his touch after so much anguish.

 

Magnus was next to Alec in an instant. His warm hands surrounded one of Alec's and it was so nice. Magnus felt like safety. 

 

Alec managed to open one eye, and then the other. It took a moment to focus on Magnus, but he was so happy when he did. 

 

"Magnus," he breathed again. Magnus looked about as destroyed as Alec felt. His hair was a mess and his eyeliner was smudged. He looked like he'd been crying right along with Alec. 

 

But he was smiling now. His face was lit up with relief and joy and love. His beautiful glamoured chestnut eyes absolutely shone with teary emotion. 

 

Magnus leaned down and placed a kiss on Alec's forehead. The gesture was so familiar and comforting that Alec couldn't help but close his eyes again. The exhaustion started to catch up with him. 

 

"Thank you," he mumbled before letting sleep take over.

 

.

 

When Alec woke up, he felt infinitely better. If he wasn't completely back to normal, then he was pretty damn close.

 

Alec looked down and saw an adorably sleepy Magnus using Alec's chest as a pillow. He was gazing up at Alec in a way that heated him to his very core. 

 

"Hey," Alec murmured softly. He pushed a strand of Magnus' hair away from his face. Magnus smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. "What are you doing?"

 

"Watching you sleep."

 

"Right. That's not weird at all."

 

"No, it isn't. Not when I almost lost you today."

 

Any lightness to their conversation died right then and there. 

 

"Oh," Alec whispered. 

 

"Yeah," Magnus said quietly. " _ Oh. _ "

 

Magnus let his fingers wander along Alec's bare chest for a minute. He looked so sad suddenly.  

 

"Alexander, I can't live without you either," Magnus admitted. "And, as an immortal, that's the worst thing in the world because one day I'm going to have to. I'm not ever going to be ready, Alec. I wasn't ready today and I'm not going to be ready fifty years from now. Almost losing you today reminded me how much of a reality that is. I've lost so many people over the years, but you're going to be the one that kills me."

 

Alec's heart broke. He didn't want to be the person to cause Magnus so much grief. How he even could was beyond his understanding. 

 

"I'm sorry," Alec said uselessly. 

 

"It's not your fault," Magnus sniffled, tears threatening to spill. 

 

"I'm still sorry."

 

Magnus laughed humorlessly. "I know."

 

Footsteps interrupted their moment. Clary entered the room hesitantly and Magnus immediately turned his face away.

 

"If you'll excuse me for a moment," he said in a low voice. He left for the bedroom and shut the door behind him.

 

Clary was obviously uncertain of how to respond to Magnus' abrupt exit.

 

"Is Magnus okay?" she asked quietly.

 

Alec sighed deeply as he stared after his boyfriend. "Not really."

 

The two Shadowhunters sat in silence for a minute, neither knowing what to say. It had been a long, awful day. The place for speaking wasn't clear. 

 

Clary was the first one to break. "What about you? Are you okay?"

 

Alec returned his gaze to her. She looked tired. Her hair was pulled up into a messy bun and her eyes were dark and weary.

 

"I'll live. Which is thanks to you, I suppose."

 

"Excuse me?"

 

"I'd be dead if it wasn't for you. So, thank you."

 

Clary seemed surprised, but very pleased.

 

"Yeah, well, I only did it for Jace and Magnus. Those two would be lost without you. Personally, I couldn't care less. I mean I would've just let you d-"

 

Alec grabbed one of Magnus' throw pillows and chucked it at her. 

 

"I tried to have a moment, Fray. I really did, but you went and ruined it. Typical."

 

She giggled and threw the pillow back at him. "Damn, you're right. I'm sorry. Next time, though, tell me ahead of time. I would've recorded it. Jace will never believe this happened without evidence."

 

"Go home, Shadowhunter," he chuckled. "If I'm not mistaken, you have paperwork to fill out."

 

"What?"

 

"Oh yeah. You want to kill demons, you gotta do the mission reports that go with them. I want that on my desk by eight a.m. tomorrow morning. No excuses. Have a nice night, Clary."

 

He smiled sweetly and she just scowled in return. She huffed out a breath and left the loft. 

 

Once Clary was gone, Magnus emerged from the bedroom. He was dressed in loose maroon sweatpants and what looked like one of Alec's stretched out black tees. He had a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. 

 

"Come here," Alec said. Magnus nodded and walked over to Alec. He laid next to Alec on the couch and put an arm around his waist. Alec held him close and didn't mention the slight tremor in his lover's body. 

 

They stayed there in absolute silence. There wasn't anything to say. Nothing would change the truths that this day had made more real than ever.

 

All they could do was cling to one another and try to forget.


	4. Worry

"Well, that's one way to wake up."

 

Magnus chuckled as he pressed kisses to Alec's neck. "It sure is. I'm sure it's an awfully good way to go to sleep, too."

 

Alec grinned as he ran his fingers down the heated expanse of Magnus' bare back. When they'd woken up this morning, golden, hazy light had settled around them. Magnus had looked so beautiful and Alec couldn't help but reach out and touch. And, well, things had escalated from there. Now, Magnus was on top of Alec, coming down from a blissful high and settled lazily on his boyfriend's chest. 

 

"Wanna test that out later?" 

 

"Mm, I love the way you think, Alexander." Magnus leaned in and kissed Alec on the lips. It was sweet and gentle. It made Alec's heart thump steadily and strongly. A kiss like that one made him think about words like 'forever' and 'always'.

 

Alec faked a sigh. "Oh, wait. I can't. I have a hot date tonight. I don't think he'd appreciate me sleeping with you."

 

"I'm sure he wouldn't mind," Magnus answered as he started brushing his lips against Alec's jaw. The delightful friction of Magnus's beard against Alec's cheek had him biting his lip and his eyelids fluttering. 

 

"Really? You're sure he wouldn't mind?" Alec's voice was strained and breathy.

 

Magnus mouthed down to Alec's Deflect rune and Alec dug his fingers into Magnus's back. "Quite sure," he whispered before lightly biting at the sensitive skin. 

 

Alec couldn't take the teasing anymore. He firmly gripped Magnus' shoulders and flipped him over. Alec settled on Magnus' hips. His lover's eyes darkened with a lust that made Alec's blood run hot. 

 

"If you're so sure, then I guess it's okay if we do it now, too, right?"

 

Magnus nodded seriously. "Completely okay."

 

"Perfect." Alec dove in for another kiss. This one set his body on fire. The small moans he could hear forming in Magnus's throat just heightened the pleasure. 

 

The two lost themselves in each other for a few minutes. There was nothing outside of wandering hands and kiss-swollen lips. The whole world was just Magnus and Alec being completely enraptured by the feeling of skin touching skin. 

 

"Alec?" Magnus said as Alec kissed down his stomach. 

 

"Yes, love?" He flicked his gaze up to see Magnus smiling with his head thrown back against the pillows.

 

"I'm really excited about our date."

 

Alec's heart jumped. The words were painfully sweet and so honest that Alec felt dumbfounded. How could Magnus always say the words that would leave him speechless?

 

Alec moved back up so that he was face-to-face with Magnus. He let his eyes drift all over his face. He studied the curve of his lips, the planes of his cheeks, the slow descent of his lashes. Alec was sure he'd never met a person as beautiful as Magnus. No one had ever even come close. Alec wanted to look at this face for the rest of his life. 

 

"Me too," he answered and leaned their foreheads together. "It's been way too long since we've had a proper date. Something always gets in the way. I have work at the Institute."

 

"I have business at Pandemonium."

 

"Jace gets himself into trouble of some variety."

 

"There's a genocidal maniac on the loose trying to kill my people."

 

Alec laughed and he could feel Magnus' own laughs resonating in his chest. 

 

"Well," Alec said as he brushed his fingers through Magnus's hair, "I have the night off and you do as well. Valentine is dead and Jace has  _ strict  _ instructions to call Isabelle if he needs something. Magnus Bane, I hope you're ready to be dated like you've never been dated before."

 

"Oh, really? And how do you expect to wow me, Alexander?"

 

"Well, I'm going to come home. I'm going to cook you dinner." Magnus was about to interject, but Alec held up a finger. "Yes, I'm making steak. Medium rare. Then, I'm going to pour you a glass of your absolute  _ favorite  _ wine, the one from that little town in Spain. There's gonna be candles and music and flowers."

 

"So, basically, you're going to raid my fridge and my liquor cabinet and call it a date?" Magnus teased when Alec paused for a breath. 

 

"Yes, shut up. It's romantic. Besides, you didn't let me finish."

 

Magnus giggled. "Right. Of course. Please, continue."

 

" _ As I was saying,  _ there's going to be music. So, we're going to dance around the living room until your feet hurt. I've been practicing that waltz you tried to show me and I've almost got it down. I think all I'm missing is the right pair of strong hands to lead me." Alec smiled softly and quieted for a moment to kiss Magnus' forehead. Magnus sighed contentedly beneath him. "Once you can't dance for a minute longer, I'm going to scoop you up and take you to bed and I'm going to make love to you until you can't even think straight. How does that sound?" 

 

The blush that stained Magnus' cheeks nearly killed Alec. It was far too cute and the matching grin overwhelmed him. Alec wished he could see Magnus this happy all the time. 

 

Magnus reached up and played with the hairs at the nape of Alec's neck. His unglamoured cat eyes glimmered with love. 

 

"That sounds... amazing. Absolutely amazing, Alexander."

 

"Not too boring? I know it's not exactly a trip to Tokyo."

 

Magnus grinned wider at the memory. "There is nothing boring about spending the evening with the man I love."

 

Alec couldn't take the intense look on Magnus' face anymore. It made his stomach do too many flips, made his heart miss too many beats. He buried his face in Magnus' neck and breathed in the scent of his skin.

 

"By the Angel, I love you so much, Magnus," Alec murmured against his throat. 

 

"I love you, too,  _ sayang. _ "

 

The Indonesian endearment was one of the few things Magnus shared from his culture. He didn't use it often, but it meant so much when he did. 

 

The two stayed silent and held each other close. Magnus' embrace was Alec's favorite place in the world. Nothing else mattered with those arms around him.

 

The moment was broken with the shrill ping of Alec's cellphone. Magnus groaned and reached for it. He glared at the screen before handing it off to Alec.

 

There was a new message from Jace saying he was needed at the Institute.

 

Alec chucked the phone on to the bed. 

 

"I guess the ban on your parabatai contacting you hasn't come into action yet." 

 

"Unfortunately not." Alec sighed, placed a gentle kiss on Magnus' lips, and got off of him. Alec quickly padded into the bathroom for a shower and he got dressed. When he got back to the bedroom, Magnus wasn't there, but he could hear footsteps in the kitchen. 

 

Magnus was drinking coffee and he had made a travel mug for Alec. 

 

"Thank you," he said, placing a kiss on his cheek. He grabbed his stele and weapons and started out the door. "You're the best, Mags. I'll see you later, okay? Seven o'clock."

 

Magnus offered him a wave goodbye. "Seven o'clock. I love you, Alexander."

 

Alec beamed back at him. "Love you, too, Magnus."

 

He looked at Magnus for one more second before shutting the door behind him.

 

.

Alec's day was crazy to say the least. He had so much to get done before the date that night. A new group of trainees was coming to the Institute this afternoon to shadow some of the fighters there. Apparently, the New York Institute had become the highest performing Institute in North America. Alec wasn't going to lie and pretend he wasn't proud of that. 

 

Besides the havoc that would undoubtedly ensue from having twenty new teenagers running around, Alec had scheduled lunch with Lydia. She would be escorting the trainees and Alec had insisted they find some time to sit down and talk. He hardly saw her these days and, while she was no longer his fiancée, she was his friend. He liked and respected her. If she was going to be in town, it was the least he could do to share a meal with her. 

 

"Alec!" a voice called from outside his office door. "I'm coming in, buddy."

 

Jace walked inside and gave an audible sigh of relief.

 

"Good, you're alone."

 

Alec barely even glanced up from his papers.

 

"And what, exactly, is that supposed to mean?"

 

Alec could feel the embarrassment coming off of his parabatai. It burned hot in their rune.

 

"Well, I know you and Magnus have your date tonight. I thought you might be, you know, starting it early. I know what you two do in here. Last time I saw you two still haunts my nightmares, Alec. I mean I'm guessing you had your flexibility rune activated, but still that was-"

 

"Oh my god, enough!" Alec interrupted. "Maybe you wouldn't be so scarred if you, oh I don't know, stopped walking in on your friends having sex?"

 

"Or you could just do it somewhere private."

 

"First of all, this is  _ my  _ office. It is private. Second of all, you could learn to knock and wait for permission to enter. I mean, it's just a thought."

 

"But-"

 

"No." Alec held up a hand to stop him. "The fact that you've interrupted on more than one occasion means that you're at fault here. Now, please, is there a reason you're here or are you just trying to make me relive some of the most traumatic experiences of my life?"

 

Jace smirked and dropped a pile of files on his desk. "The new trainee files. I thought you might want to look over them since the kids just arrived."

 

"Great, thanks. And send Lydia in if you see her. We have a reservation at some nice place Magnus likes. I wouldn't want to miss it."

 

"Will do, boss."

 

Alec skimmed the files as Jace left. He recognized a few faces and names. They were at the top of their class in Idris, but they'd never been outside Alicante's limits. They were coming here to learn what the real world was like. If they thrived here, they would probably end up assigned to some Institute in Mumbai or Los Angeles. Maybe some would even be assigned right here in New York. If they didn't take to field work, they would probably spend their days in the Shadowhunter home country and dealing with the messy politics and boring paperwork. 

 

A knock on the door pulled his attention away again. 

 

"Come in," Alec said. 

 

"I must say, that desk suits you, Alec."

 

A grin spread across his face.

 

"Lydia," he greeted with a smile. Alec stood from his chair and walked over to her. She opened her arms and he gladly accepted a quick hug. Now that the whole wedding ordeal was behind them, it was much easier to be familiar with her. "How have you been?"

 

"Good," she smiled. "Busy as always. Idris doesn't give a girl much time to rest."

 

"The life of an important Clave official, I suppose."

 

"Well, you would know better than anyone, Mr. Head of the New York Institute. Oh, have I mentioned how proud of you I am in regards to that? Because I am. You're doing great things here, Alec."

 

Alec felt his cheeks heat up. He knew in his heart that Lydia was right. Things were changing and it was, at least partially, because of him. Still, it wasn't easy to take the compliment gracefully from someone he respected like this.

 

"Oh, stop," Alec responded dryly. "You're just trying to flatter me into paying for your lunch."

 

Lydia gasped mockingly. "I am doing no such thing. Besides, this meal is on the Clave's dime. This is, of course, an official meeting between two Clave officials that is essential to the security of the Law. It just makes sense that the Clave pays for it, wouldn't you say?"

 

She gave him a conspiratorial wink. He grinned slyly. 

 

"You are absolutely correct. My mistake. We should get going to this highly important meeting to discuss... the Law."

 

"Let's go then."

 

They laughed as they stepped out into the hallway. Already, this was turning out to be a great time. 

 

Quietly Alec whispered, "We may make a rule-breaker out of you yet, Lydia Branwell."

 

"You all did that a long time ago, my friend." 

.

 

The two Shadowhunters sat in a cozy Spanish restaurant in Bay Ridge. Their food had just arrived and they had broken the small talk to dig in. So far, everything was great. Lydia had so many stories to tell about Idris. As much as Alec hated the drama of his home country, he wanted to visit. He wanted to walk the streets and admire the architecture. He wanted to visit the exquisite gardens. He wanted to roam the great libraries with so many ancient Shadowhunter books he couldn't even fathom the number. He wanted to go with Magnus.

 

His phone beeped and he stole a quick look at it. It was a text from Magnus.  

 

_ M: Tell Lydia I say hello and send her my love (unless she is trying to wed you again. In that case, my love is revoked) _

 

Alec chuckled and typed back a short answer.

 

_ A: No wedding this time around. I'm all yours ;) _

 

_ M: Suddenly, I need you home. It has nothing to do with how much that makes me swoon, I promise. I need you to kiss m- I mean help me with something _

 

_ A: xoxo <3 _

 

_ M: Sigh <3 _

 

"Judging by the look on your face, I'm guessing that's not from the Institute," Lydia interjected.

 

Alec put his phone down and flushed. 

 

"No, sorry. It's Magnus. He says hello, by the way."

 

"Tell him the same from me. It really is a shame that he couldn't be here."

 

"I know, but he has brunch plans with Catarina. He hasn't seen her in a while. She's been so busy with Madzie and shifts at the hospital that she doesn't get days off very often."

 

Alec looked at Lydia and she had an odd expression on her face. It was some combination of warmth and concern. 

 

"What?" he asked. "Is there something in my teeth?"

 

She shook her head slowly. "No, it's just-" She broke off and twirled her ponytail around her finger for a second. "You're happy, right, Alec?"

 

He was startled by the suddenness of her question. It was so unrelated to what they'd been talking about. Besides that, this wasn't a topic they spoke about often. Lydia and Alec were friends, but they never spoke about feelings. It wasn't their style. 

 

"I'm sorry, what?" Alec sputtered out. 

 

"Are you happy, Alec? I want to know that you're finally getting what you deserve. I want to know that when you walked back down that aisle it gave you everything you were looking for."

 

Alec swallowed a lump in his throat as he thought about everything he'd gained since that day. He'd found the love of his life. He'd found the one person who made Alec feel completely safe and cared for. He'd found a home in the heart of a beautiful warlock who shone like the sun. 

 

"Everything I was looking for and more," Alec murmured, a gentle smile pulling at his lips.

 

Lydia reached out and squeezed his hand. "I'm glad."

 

Her expression was soft and held a sisterly affection that he normally only saw in Izzy. Still, there was something else underneath it all that made his heart clench. There was a quiet sadness behind her eyes that made him worry. 

 

"What about you, Lydia? Are you happy?" 

 

Her blue eyes darted away for a moment. She was embarrassed, but he needed to know.

 

Lydia met his gaze again and she searched for the words to say. It wasn't easy to admit that you weren't as okay as you wanted everyone to believe. 

 

"No."

 

Alec sighed. "Lydia, I-"

 

She stopped him. "Alec, it's okay. I promise. I'm not there yet, but I'm trying. It was difficult. After what happened between us, I was reminded of everything I could've had with John. It's so hard when you want something so bad and it's so close that it feels real. Before he died, in my mind, we were already running an Institute. We were married. We were happy. But once he was gone, thinking about it didn't feel real anymore. It was just like a movie that someone else starred in. It wasn't me anymore. Now, I'm just trying to put the pieces back together. I haven't been whole for a long time, but I'm getting there."

 

Alec ached at her heartbreak. He couldn't imagine losing a partner, losing Magnus, like she had. He also was so inspired by her resilience, by her strength. Alec had never met someone who could withstand so much without losing hope.

 

"You deserve to be happy, too, Lydia."

 

She smiled at him gratefully. "I think things will be a lot better once I truly understand that."

 

He nodded in understanding. It had taken him years to come to terms with the fact that he was allowed to be happy. He just had to let himself make the choices that brought him closer to the life he wanted to live. 

 

Lydia withdrew her hand and sipped at her water silently. The mood had changed so drastically. Neither of them knew where to go from there. 

 

Alec pushed his food around his plate awkwardly. 

 

She took a deep breath before saying, "So, from what I hear, Magnus completely obliterated the Inquisitor at that cabinet meeting a few weeks ago. Is that true?"

 

Alec laughed. As always, Lydia knew exactly what to do to make things easier. "Completely true. You should have seen her face."

 

Lydia leaned forward and rested her chin in her hand. 

 

"Tell me everything."

 

.

 

Alec couldn't stop glancing at his watch. Forty-five minutes. Forty-five more minutes until he would be home and with his boyfriend. All he had to do was dismiss the trainees for the night and look over and sign off on some mission reports. Then, he was free. 

 

"Alright, trainees, over here!" Alec yelled. When the collection of young Shadowhunters gathered by him in the Ops Center, he continued. "Great work today. I hope you all are getting along well with your mentors. If you're not, get over it. You're here for a month and it will be a wonderful lesson in dealing with people you don't like."

 

The group of kids eyed him warily. His tone was stern and they didn't quite know how to respond to it.

 

"They are your superiors and you must treat them with respect. If there are any  _ real  _ issues, though, come to me immediately. Understood?"

 

The teens shared a few weighted glances with one another before nodding.

 

Alec clapped his hands together. "Perfect. I look forward to getting to know you all. Now, you're dismissed. Report to your rooms and try to get some sleep tonight. Six a.m. comes early." 

 

The crowd dissipated and Alec watched them go. He was honestly so excited to work with them. This new generation of Shadowhunters was going to be different. He could feel it in his bones. They weren't going to make the same mistakes as his parents and the rest of their cohort. No, these young Shadowhunters were going to be just and fair and absolutely blow them all away. 

 

Alec was shaken from his thoughts when a firm hand gripped his elbow and started dragging him towards the door. 

 

"We're getting drinks," Jace explained as he shoved Alec into the night air. "Right now."

 

"What? Why?"

 

"Youths. They're awful. They ask too many questions and they never shut up. I'm exhausted and I need alcohol to dull the headache."

 

Alec laughed, but stopped Jace in his tracks. "Hey, I would love to go and drown your sorrows with you, but I can't. I told Magnus I'd be home by seven and I still have reports to go over and I have to pick up the flowers." 

 

Jace rolled his eyes. "Those reports can wait until morning and you know it. I promise it'll just be one drink and you'll be home to your husband in no time."

 

Alec nearly choked. "My what?"

 

"Oh, come on, Alec. You two are basically an old married couple. It's gross, actually, how ridiculously sappy you two are. So, are you gonna come with me or what?"

 

Alec tried not to focus on what Jace had said. It made him too flustered to think clearly. 

 

Alec sighed and shook his head at himself. "Fine. One drink. I mean it, Jace. I'm leaving after that."

 

Jace grinned wolfishly. "Perfect. Let's go."

 

The parabatai made their way to the Hunter's Moon. They sat down at the bar and ordered a couple of bears. As per usual, Jace and Maia bickered back and forth for a while. Lately, though, it lacked the heat it once had. It seemed that the two had come to an understanding and were putting the past behind them. 

 

They chatted for a while and Alec listened contentedly to Jace complain about his trainees. Apparently, they had a bit too much enthusiasm for Jace's taste and their perkiness irritated him. Alec knew that it would change. Jace would grow to love those kids in time. 

 

"Well, if it isn't my favorite Lightwood and Herondale."

 

Alec looked up and Luke was standing in front of them. 

 

"Hey, Luke. How are you?" Alec asked as he shook the alpha's hand.

 

"No complaints from me, kid. Mind if I join you?"

 

Jace kicked out a bar stool for him. "Not at all, man. You're always welcome here."

 

Luke sat down and he and Jace struck up a conversation about the precinct. Alec listened intently as he nursed his beer. 

 

Alec was happy. The whole night was warm as people buzzed around him. He was with friends and they made the weight of the day feel a little lighter. They made him laugh and smile so that nothing could bring him down.

 

Until it did.

 

After a while, Luke stood up from his seat.

 

"Thanks for a great time, boys. I'll see you around. Alec, give my regards to Maryse. And tell Magnus that I hope we're still on for coffee on next Thursday."

 

"Will do," Alec answered with a nod. Luke turned and left the bar.

 

He'd have to tell Magnus-

 

_ Magnus. Their date.  _

 

Alec felt his heart drop. "Shit!"

 

Jace furrowed his brow at him. "What?"

 

Alec looked at the clock on the wall. It was quarter past eight. "I'm late for the date!"

 

Alec searched through his pockets for his phone. He needed to call Magnus and let him know that he was on his way. By the Angel, he was the worst boyfriend in the world. He couldn't find his cell. He must've left it at the Institute.

 

"Jace, do you have your phone?"

 

His parabatai shoved his hands in his pockets, but came up empty. "Sorry, man."

 

"Damn it," Alec swore. "I have to go."

 

"Of course, yeah," Jace said apologetically. It was obvious that he felt bad for forcing Alec to come with him.

 

Alec sprinted out the door and activated his Speed rune while he ran. 

 

Alec was freaking out. Magnus must be so angry. He must think Alec was standing him up on purpose. Alec would never do that, especially when he knew how excited Magnus was to finally get some time for just the two of them. How could he possibly make it up to him?

 

When he reached their building, he charged up the stairs, too impatient to wait for the elevator. By the time he made his way through Magnus' wards, he was sweating and panting out heavy breaths. He put his key in the lock and stepped quickly into the loft. 

 

"Magnus!" Alec called. He didn't see the warlock sitting on the couch or anywhere in sight.

 

"Alexander?" 

 

Alec looked to see Magnus emerging from the kitchen. Before he could even begin to apologize, Magnus rushed over and pulled Alec into a bone-crushing hug. 

 

Alec felt wisps of magic flitting across his skin. It would touch his skin for barely a second before jumping to find a new place to caress. The magic was nervous and didn't know how to settle itself. It seemed to be looking for something. It would tickle his arm and then dart over to his chest, his back, his face. 

 

Magnus had his face buried in Alec's neck and Alec could feel a small tremor in his body. What was that about?

 

Alec sighed and kissed the side of his head. 

 

"I'm so sorry, Magnus. I screwed up. I know how special this was to you. I didn't mean to miss it."

 

Suddenly, Magnus stiffened in Alec's arms. Alec felt the tightness in his muscles. The magic sparked once hotly and withdrew from Alec's body.

 

Magnus pulled back and Alec was alarmed to see the ice in his eyes. It contrasted harshly with the tight embrace of just moments ago.

 

"You're sorry?" Magnus fumed as he moved away completely. There was now a good few feet between them. "That's all you have to say? You're over an hour late, you ignore my calls, you're drunk, I can smell the alcohol on you, and all you can tell me is that you're  _ sorry _ ?" 

 

Alec blinked in surprise. Magnus rarely used that tone with him. It was accusatory and piercing. The last time he'd heard it was when they'd fought over the Soul Sword. 

 

"Wait, what?" Alec stammered, utterly confused. "Magnus, it was an accident. Jace and I went out for a drink. I forgot my phone at the Institute. Luke showed up and we lost track of time. And I'm not drunk. I had one beer."

 

Magnus scoffed and scowled at him. "Oh, I'm sure."

 

Alec took an instinctive step back at the force of the scorn in Magnus' voice. It was so aggressive. Sure, Alec had expected him to be mad, but not like this. He hadn't expected outright hostility.

 

"I'm sorry. I really meant to be here. You know I was looking forward to tonight just as much as you were."

 

Alec tried to approach him and he reached for his lover's hands, but Magnus wrenched them away. 

 

"Were you? Were you really?"

 

Magnus was trying to get Alec riled up, to match his anger, but Alec held himself back. It was too easy to give into that, but it wouldn't do them any good. 

 

"Of course, Magnus."

 

Magnus laughed mirthlessly and pursed his lips. "I find that hard to believe. If you didn't want to do this, you should have just said so. We could have cancelled. It would have been much nicer than telling me about how great our evening was going to be and then leaving me here all alone."

 

"Hey, don't be like that. I wanted to be here with you. I wanted to do everything we talked about this morning. It was just a mistake, Magnus. I never meant to hurt you."

 

Alec reached out again, but Magnus stepped out of distance. 

 

" _ Don't, _ " Magnus hissed. "Just don't, Alec."

 

Magnus turned on his heel and started storming off to the bedroom.

 

Desperation washed over Alec. How was he supposed to fix this?

 

"Magnus, wait!" Alec yelled. "Please, stop. I don't want to fight with you!"

 

Magnus stopped and spun around. 

 

"And you think I do? I don't want to fight with you either, Alec!"

 

"Then why are you?"

 

"Because I was  _ scared!"  _

 

Alec lost his breath. What was going on? Magnus was scared? 

 

"What?" Alec breathed at a volume just above whisper.

 

"I was scared!" Magnus shouted. "I kept calling and calling and you weren't answering. God, I thought you were dead in a dark alley in Manhattan or something! You always answer my calls when you're not in a meeting. And I couldn't reach your idiotic parabatai either, and Isabelle had no clue where either of you were. I thought you were hurt and all I could think about was how two weeks ago you were bleeding to death with venom in your veins on my couch! Ever since then, I've been so afraid that something was going to happen to you. Every time the phone rings, I get a pit in my stomach and the most sadistic part of my brain tells me that this is the call from Isabelle or Jace or Clary when they tell me I've lost you for good. I thought something had happened to you tonight, you stupid Nephilim! I was terrified!"

 

Magnus turned his face away when his voice cracked on the last word. He bit his lip roughly.

 

Alec hadn't even considered that Magnus might be worried about him. He hadn't thought that Magnus' mind would take him to such a dark place.

 

"Why didn't you just talk to me about all of this, Magnus? We didn't have to argue."

 

Magnus had visibly deflated now. The anger wasn't there anymore. If anything, he looked ashamed.

 

"I felt... ridiculous. Because I know you and I know you're careful. I knew it would have just made you fuss and worry over me when I didn't need you to. Also, I didn't want you to know how hard  _ this _ is."

 

"How hard what is?"

 

Magnus sighed and gestured between them. "This.  _ Us. _ "

 

Alec felt his stomach twist into a knot. He prayed Magnus wasn't saying what it sounded like he was saying because that would break him. It was too similar to the feelings he'd been trying to push down for the past few months: Alec wasn't worth it. He wasn't good enough. Alec didn't deserve to get what he wanted. 

 

Alec couldn't control the way his voice shook as his mind spiraled into the depths that he'd once been drowning in. 

 

"It's hard to love me?"

 

The words tasted bitter and Alec wanted to spit them out of his mouth. They made him feel sick.

 

Magnus gaped for a moment before rushing to Alec. He placed his hands on Alec's face and forced him to meet his gaze.

 

"No, Alexander, that's not at all what I meant. You have to understand that. Being with a Shadowhunter is hard. Letting you leave and knowing you might not come back is hard. Seeing you come home beaten and bruised and hurting is hard.  _ Loving you is not hard _ . Do you hear me? Loving you is not hard. Loving you is the easiest thing in the world. I did it without even realizing it at first because it's not difficult. You're strong and loyal and kind. You've got the most beautiful smile I've ever seen. You make me feel safe because I know you will never purposefully break my heart. You are everything I could ever ask for, Alexander Gideon Lightwood.  Loving you will never be hard."

 

Alec searched Magnus' eyes for any sign of a lie, any sign that he was just saying all of this to placate him. He couldn't find it. 

 

Alec didn't trust his voice so he just nodded. Magnus traced a soothing path along Alec's cheek with his thumb.

 

Alec felt tears pricking in his eyes so he gathered Magnus in his arms to push them away. There was no better remedy for crying than warm skin, strong arms, and sandalwood shampoo. Magnus clutched Alec's shirt in his fists and pulled him impossibly closer. 

 

"I'm sorry," Alec murmured. "For everything."

 

"I'm sorry too."

 

"Promise me that you'll talk to me about things like this in the future. Promise me that you won't keep it all bottled up inside."

 

"I promise, Alexander."

 

The two men stayed wrapped up in each other silently for a few minutes. Both were trying to pull themselves together again. 

 

As much as Alec regretted messing their night up, he was glad they'd had this conversation. Magnus had needed to get it out of his system and Alec now understood what he had to do for Magnus. He had to consider what he was feeling.

 

"Magnus?"

 

"Yes?"

 

"Dance with me."

 

Magnus chuckled and pulled back to look at his boyfriend's face. "What?"

 

"I ruined our date, but I still want to dance with you. I want to make it up to you."

 

"Darling, I'm afraid I'm not in a waltzing mood."

 

"Then, just turn on some music and hold me. I don't care what it is, Magnus."

 

Magnus tightened his grip on Alec's waist and Alec heard the sharp intake of breath. Magnus smiled softly and nodded. He snapped his fingers and the record player began to spin.

 

The music was slow and romantic. Alec felt his heart sync up with the beat as it settled into his soul. They began to sway slowly back and forth, foreheads resting together and breaths mingling in the space between them. 

 

Despite all that had gone wrong, Alec had never felt more at peace than at that moment. The intimacy of the moment assuaged any hurt from before. Everything was okay because Magnus was right here, exactly where Alec wanted him for the rest of his life. 


	5. Domesticity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is really me just needing some fluff so enjoy! Don't forget to let me know what you think!

"You know, I thought the purpose of a shower was to get clean not dirty," Magnus panted against Alec's cheek. 

 

Alec chuckled and pressed kisses to his boyfriend's jaw. "Who says it can't be both?"

 

Alec's body felt molten. He was hot and liquid, barely holding himself up as he leaned heavily against Magnus. Steaming water pounded against his back, searing his overstimulated skin. 

 

Magnus had insisted that they shower together for the sake of 'water conservation', but with the amount of time they'd already spent in the shower, they could forget about going green. 

 

"Pass me the shampoo, love," Magnus said. "Might be a good idea to actually wash up after what we just did."

 

Mischief danced in his eyes and Alec smirked back.

 

He handed the bottle to Magnus, who proceeded to begin washing Alec's hair.  His fingers got lost in the dark locks as he massaged the soap into his scalp. Alec very nearly groaned at how good it felt. 

 

"So, tell me again what you're doing today," Alec said as he ran sudsy hands over Magnus' torso. 

 

"Besides you?" Magnus asked with mock innocence and a gentle tug at Alec's hair.

 

Alec glared. "Yes. What are you doing today,  _ excluding  _ me?"

 

"Well, I'm meeting Catarina this morning. She found a box of old Gaelic texts and she wants me to help with some translations before sending them over to the Spiral Labyrinth. Rinse," Magnus tilted Alec's head back under the shower head before continuing. "That'll take me until at least two. I suspect we will go out for a meal afterwards. Then, I have to deliver a healing salve to a werewolf in Queens. After that, all I have left is a minor demon summoning for a mundane businessman."

 

"Magnus," Alec sighed as he washed his boyfriend's hair, "you know that the Clave would throw a fit if they found out you were summoning a demon for a mundane."

 

"What they don't know won't hurt them," Magnus teased. "Besides, it's only a crime if you get caught."

 

"That is not at all how it works, Magnus."

 

Alec scowled until Magnus kissed it away.

 

"The good thing is, though, that it won't keep me busy past seven at the very latest. We could go out and do something! What city are you in the mood for tonight, my love? Prague? Florence? Oh, how about Bruges? I hear it is lovely this time of year. Chilly, but lovely all the same."

 

Alec frowned. "I wish we could, babe. I can't tonight though. Jace and Isabelle roped me into going on the late patrol tonight. I won't be home until past midnight."

 

Magnus' smile dropped and Alec almost retracted his statement; it was a lie anyway. 

 

No, he couldn't do that. He needed Magnus to think he was going to be out all night. The element of surprise was worth this temporary disappointment.

 

"Oh," Magnus answered, his voice a bit sadder now. He must've realized what he sounded like and adjusted before speaking again. "Well, I guess I'll just have to cuddle with the other man in my life."

 

Alec raised his eyebrows as a silent question.

 

"Chairman Meow, of course," Magnus said as he stepped out of the shower. "He  _ never _ leaves me to go off and slay demons."

 

"He's a cat, Mags. It's not like his little claws are going to do much damage to a Shax demon."

 

"You say that, but you weren't here when I tried to clip his nails for the first time. I had to wear long sleeves for weeks."

 

"Right," Alec said under his breath. He stayed in the shower a little longer as Magnus continued getting ready. A nice shower is one of the luxuries that a life in the Institute had deprived him of. So what if he took advantage of it now?

 

By the time he emerged, Magnus was just about ready to leave. He must've magicked on his makeup today.

 

Alec walked into the kitchen with a towel around his waist. 

 

"You got ready fast," Alec commented on his way to the coffee pot. 

 

"I told Cat I'd be there by nine and it is..." Magnus looked at the clock on the wall and winced, "well past nine. I really need to get going. There's a fine line between fashionably late and jut plain rude."

 

Alec sipped his drink as Magnus pulled on a coat. Even on a time crunch, Magnus managed to look amazing. Alec itched to get his hands on those muted gold pants that looked like they cost a small fortune. He wanted to pull on the lapels of his black leather jacket and run his fingers over the draping fabric of his loose dark grey shirt. It honestly wasn't fair that someone could look so good. Not fair at all.

 

Magnus came over and placed his hands on Alec's shoulders.  

 

"I'll see you later, okay?"

 

"Don't wait up. I'll be out late, Mags."

 

"I'll see you later _ ," _ Magnus repeated. His tone left no room for argument. Alec knew Magnus had trouble sleeping when he was out on a hunt. There was no point fighting him on it.

 

"Okay. I will see you tonight. Have a good day," Alec relented. 

 

"You too. And be safe."

 

"I always am."

 

"I know," Magnus smiled softly before kissing Alec one last time. "I love you, Alexander."

 

"I love you too, Magnus." 

 

Alec brushed a wisp of a kiss to his cheek before letting him move back. Magnus opened a portal and waved goodbye before setting out for a long day of work.

 

Alec stared at the place where the portal had been. He savored the warm buzz under his skin, the ghost of the feeling of Magnus' hands on his shoulders. A sweet surge of affection and longing flooded his heart. He couldn't wait to show Magnus exactly the depths of those feelings. Now that Magnus had left for the day, he could work on his plan to do just that.    

 

Alec had lied about his nightly patrol. In fact, Alec didn't have any intention of going to the Institute that day. Instead, he was going to plan a date for when Magnus got back.

 

Ever since a disastrous attempt at a date that was nearly a month ago, Alec had wanted to make it up to him. He wasn't going to risk being late again. He was going to actually cook Magnus dinner. He was going to make it everything Magnus deserved.

 

The first step was to call in to the Institute. He couldn't just not show up. He needed an excuse that would keep his phone from ringing at the littlest of emergencies. 

 

Alec picked up his cell and dialed Izzy's number. 

 

_ "Good morning, big brother," _ she said cheerily from the other end of the line.

 

"Morning, Iz," he said in a low voice.

 

She immediately sensed something was off.  _ "What's going on?" _

 

"I'm sick," he lied. "Magnus ordered takeout from this new Thai restaurant and it didn't seem so bad... until I woke up vomiting at three a.m.. I can barely get out of bed. I don't think I should come in today."

 

_ "Oh, Alec, you should stay home and rest up. Do you want me to bring you anything? I could make some soup or something." _

 

"No!" he blurted out. If he had her soup he might actually get sick. "No. That's alright. Magnus gave me something to calm my stomach, so I should be okay soon. Just keep an eye on things there. You're in charge."

 

_ "Not a problem. Let me know if you change your mind about that soup. Feel better, big bro." _

 

"Thanks, Izzy. I'll try to make it in tomorrow."

 

He ended the call. Now he had the day to get the whole thing put together. Alec really wanted to leave Magnus speechless. 

 

Alec got dressed before spending the rest of the morning constructing the whole plan. He browsed a few websites before deciding on a menu: a cheese and spinach soufflé and a salad. It seemed easy enough. Two dishes shouldn't be too difficult to pull together. Aside from the food, he called a flower shop a few blocks away and asked them to make a few arrangements of red roses. He also looked up the address for a record shop nearby. Alec wanted to get some new music for them to listen to. They'd already made their way through almost the entirety of Magnus' collection after a series of rainy nights. 

 

When Alec left the loft, he was feeling pretty confident. This was going to be great.

 

His first stop of the day was the Hunter's Moon. Alec wanted to pick up a bottle of wine, but he had no idea what good wine was. 

 

Alec smiled when he saw Maia wave at him from the bar. He walked over and leaned on the bar top. 

 

"Hey, Maia."

 

"Hey, Alec. What's up?"

 

"I need a favor, actually," he said.

 

Maia rolled her eyes playfully.

 

"Shadowhunters," she sighed. "So useless on their own. What can I help the wonderful Clave with today?"

 

Alec chuckled and grinned. "I'm not here on official business, don't worry. This is purely alcohol-related."

 

She smirked. "Now, that's what I like to hear. What can I do for you?"

 

"I'm planning a special date with Magnus tonight and I need a bottle of wine. I just have no clue as to what constitutes a Magnus-worthy wine."

 

"Well," she started as she walked farther down the bar, "I happen to know exactly what you're looking for. He has this one bottle he asks for sometimes, a great rosé from Lombardy, Italy. It's his sappy, love-drunk wine. He always asks for it when he gets to talking about you. Surprisingly, it won't break the bank so you should be good with this one."

 

The fact that Magnus had a wine for when he was thinking of Alec made his heart swell. And the fact that Maia knew exactly which wine it was meant he'd spent a lot of time drinking it.

 

He handed the cash over to Maia and took the bottle.

 

"Thanks so much, Maia."

 

"Anything for the most tolerable Shadowhunter I know."

 

He shook his head at her before walking out to continue his day. He made his way around the city, going to pick up groceries, buying the flowers, and picking out a new slow acoustic record with some nice songs on it. Alec ended up with so many bags that he ended up having to take a taxi back to the loft. 

 

When Alec got inside, it was just past four o'clock. He needed to get everything started. He changed into comfier clothes and began to set up. Alec put the record by the player. He got out Magnus' nice china plates and good silverware and set the table. He sprinkled pink rose petals on the table and a big bouquet of red roses in the middle.  He set out some candles and turned down the lights in the room. The wine is put in the fridge to chill.

 

Alec looked around and the apartment looked great. Everything looked soft and hazy in the candlelight. The flowers were exquisite and were definitely a good choice. Alec couldn't help but feel proud of what he'd done. 

 

Now, it was time for the hardest part: the meal. 

 

Alec was definitely better at cooking than Isabelle. He'd had to make sure that his siblings always had food on the table. He'd be the one to make food after a late hunt or when one of them wasn't feeling well and the only thing to help was a bowl of steaming soup. Alec knew how to cook. He just wasn't super fancy. He could do the basics and that's about it.  

 

A soufflé was  _ not  _ basic and Alec was getting worried. As he tried his damnedest to get stiff peaks in the egg whites, he wondered if he was stretching the limits of his capabilities. Maybe he should've stuck with something simpler. He could cook a mean steak (a fact that Magnus  _ greatly  _ appreciated). Maybe he should've done that instead.

 

Eventually, though, the soufflé started to come together and Alec couldn't hold back a proud smile as he slid it into the oven. 

 

Alec was just about to start chopping the ingredients for the salad when he heard the front door swing open. Magnus was early.

 

"Chairman, Papa's home!"

 

Alec heard the little bell on the cat's collar jingle as he raced to greet Magnus at the door. 

 

"Yes, I missed you too, my love," Magnus cooed in response to the Chairman's incessant meowing. "Looks like it's just you and me tonight. I was thinking Chinese for dinner. What do you say?"

 

Alec heard little paws tapping against the hardwood as Chairman Meow ran to find Alec. The cat rubbed up against Alec's leg and purred.

 

"Where did you run off to?" Magnus chuckled as he followed after him. He entered the kitchen and did a double take.

 

Alec smiled sheepishly. He hadn't been expecting Magnus for another hour. 

 

"You're early," Alec said with a smile. 

 

Magnus shook his head in disbelief, like he didn't quite understand what was going on. "I'm the early one? What happened to patrol?"

 

Alec laughed lightly. "I didn't go into the Institute today. I called in sick."

 

Magnus still wasn't getting it. "Are you sick? What's wrong?"

 

"No, Magnus," Alec started as he made his way over to his boyfriend, "I'm not sick. I lied. I skipped work to plan the perfect date for us tonight."

 

A smile of understanding overtook Magnus' face. His eyes glimmered with a fondness that left Alec blushing. 

 

"Really?"

 

"Yes, really."

 

"Why? What's the occasion? Please tell me I didn't forget an anniversary."

 

Alec chuckled and ran a tender finger along Magnus' jaw.

 

"Why? Because you deserve it, Magnus Bane. You deserve the whole world, but if this is all I can I give you right now then I'm going to give it to you."

 

Alec barely had time to register Magnus' reaction before Magnus was kissing the living daylights out of him. Alec's knees turned to jelly and he gasped against Magnus' mouth with every needy meeting of their lips. It was an urgent clash of lips and tongue and teeth. 

 

Magnus pulled back and left Alec a breathless mess. He was staring at Alec with wide, awestruck eyes. 

 

"How do you keep doing this?" Magnus whispered.

 

"Doing what?

 

"Amazing me."

 

Alec didn't know how to respond that. He was too caught off guard by the sincerity and he was still reeling from the unexpectedness of the kiss.  He answered instead by pulling Magnus into a tight hug and kissing his temple. 

 

They stayed like that for a few moments before Alec dropped his lips to Magnus' ear and murmured, "Now, I want you to go take a shower. Wash off the day. I bet you're exhausted. Put on some cozy pajamas and then come back out here and join me. Dinner is in the oven and it should be done by the time you get back." 

 

Magnus nodded and planted one final peck against Alec's mouth. Magnus backed away and brushed his fingers against the grin on his lips. The absolute happiness on his face warmed Alec to his core. 

 

"By the Angel, I'm so lucky," Magnus beamed before turning around and walking into the bedroom with a new spring in his step.   

 

Alec couldn't remember ever wanting to make someone someone smile as much as he did with Magnus. It was the most beautiful thing Alec had ever seen in his life. He craved to see the way the corner of his eyes crinkled and the rosiness that graced his cheeks. If Alec had to pick one thing to see for the rest of his life, it would be Magnus' smile.

 

Alec returned to the counter and resumed chopping the vegetables, but now it was with an uninhibited smile of his own.

 

Alec finished the salad and stuck it in the fridge. The soufflé had about ten minutes left. From what Alec could tell, it was looking good. It was rising like it was supposed to and the top was starting to turn golden. As he waited, Alec turned on the record player and popped the cork on the wine. He poured two glasses and set them on the kitchen island. 

 

Magnus emerged and Alec realized for the billionth time that day exactly how gone he was for him. Magnus had floppy, towel-dried hair that hung in his eyes. His face was clear of makeup and had a dewy look to it. He was wearing army green joggers and and a long-sleeve, off-white cotton Henley. The glamour on Magnus's eyes was down and gold cat eyes were on full display. Magnus looked indescribably soft and relaxed. Alec could hardly handle how incredible he looked. 

 

"I have the hottest boyfriend in the world," Alec sighed dreamily, and he was only half-joking.  

 

Magnus smirked and came to stand in front of him.  

 

"And don't you forget it," Magnus teased.

 

"Oh, I wouldn't dare."  They laughed and Alec motioned to the wine. "Want a drink?"

 

"Is that even a question?" Magnus raised an eyebrow at Alec like he should know better.

 

Alec shook his head and handed a glass to Magnus. They clinked their glasses together.

 

"To you," Alec said.

 

Magnus glared playfully, but Alec could see that he was pleased beneath that. 

 

"To  _ us, _ " Magnus answered. 

 

They both took a sip. Alec could see why Magnus enjoyed this wine. It was amazing.

 

When Magnus tasted it, he made a little surprised sound that drew Alec's attention. 

 

"How did you find out about this wine, Alexander?"

 

"I have my ways," Alec replied mysteriously.

 

Alec expected a witty retort but instead Magnus was smiling fondly and staring down at the rosé. 

 

"You really went all out, huh?" Magnus said gently.

 

"Like I said before, you deserve it."

 

Magnus flicked his gaze back up to meet Alec's. There was a longing in his eyes that made Alec's throat go dry. The desire to touch, to find out if he could feel that love as clearly as he could see it, pushed him closer to Magnus. They stood with chests pressed together and fingers digging into muscles in search of some kind of anchor before they got lost in each other. 

 

The tension started to build. Alec could feel it curling in his gut and he groaned internally at the distance between their lips. Magnus, though, was staring into his eyes and seemed like this little intimacy was all he needed right now. 

 

"Alexander," Magnus whispered. Alec shivered at the husky tone to his voice. His breath ghosted against his lips and Alec almost lost his mind. "Kiss me."

 

Alec had never followed an order with such enthusiasm. What Alec meant to be a slow, tender kiss ended up being deep and hungry. It was like a wave crashing against the sand. Alec wanted more, wanted to be closer, wanted Magnus. For every centimeter that Magnus pulled away, Alec chased his lips with more ardor. 

 

Magnus moaned when Alec caught his bottom lip between his teeth. In response, Magnus reached down and hooked his hands under Alec's thighs before lifting him up to sit on the counter. Alec was certain he'd never experienced anything hotter than that. His brain went hazy as Magnus used the new position to suck at his pulse point. It sent pleasure shooting through his veins and he reflexively wrapped his legs around Magnus' hips and tangled his hands in his hair. 

 

Alec had no idea how long they stayed like that, completely absorbed by the feeling of hot, mingling breaths and bruising, desperate kisses. Before Alec even realized it, he had his shirt off and his fingers were nimbly undoing the tie on Magnus'  sweatpants.

 

"I know you made dinner, but I think there's something else I'd rather have in my mouth," Magnus whispered filthily into his ear. It sent a flush all over Alec's body. Magnus always knew just what to say to get Alec worked up. 

 

"Mmm, I couldn't agree more," he breathed as he leaned down to press gentle nips to his lover's shoulder. This was definitely better than dinner.

 

Then, his eyes flew open and he shouted,  _ "My soufflé!" _

 

"I'm sorry?" Magnus asked pulling back. "Your what?"

 

Alec pushed Magnus fully away before scrambling over to the oven. He reached in without thinking. 

 

"Alec, wait!" Magnus warned before magicking oven mitts onto Alec's hands. Alec was momentarily grateful before he pulled out the soufflé and dropped it on the counter. 

 

Alec deflated as he looked at the ruined dinner. The top of the soufflé was pitch black and crusty. It was supposed to be tall and fluffy but instead had collapsed back into the ramekin.  

 

"Fuck," he sighed, hanging his head in shame. Alec had just wanted to make this evening perfect for Magnus, but now he'd gone and messed it up. What was a dinner date without dinner? "I'm sorry, Mags."

 

Warm hands found the muscles of his bare back. "Hey, it's okay, Alexander. It's not a big deal."

 

"It is, though. I wanted to make this a special night for the two of us. I wanted to do something for you. Now, we're going to have to order in like we always do. There's nothing special about that."

 

Magnus gripped Alec's shoulder and forced him to turn around and look at him. "Well, first of all, any night with you is special and the fact that you did all of this is more than amazing. Second of all, who says we have to order in? Let's make dinner together. I happen to know an amazing recipe for spaghetti and meatballs. If we start right now, we won't have to wait too long to eat."

 

Alec searched his face for any trace of disappointment, but he couldn't find any. All he was met with was a warm smile and an expectant gaze. Alec returned the smile and nodded. 

 

"Okay, let's do that."

 

Magnus clapped his hands together. "Great. Time to get to work, my love."

 

Magnus rubbed his hands together for a second before conjuring up all of the ingredients. The blue magic dissipated and Magnus turned back to him.

 

"I'll take care of the sauce and you can do the meatballs. I would let you do the sauce, but it seems the Lightwood family curse is in full effect tonight and I won't have you ruining my marinara."

 

Alec gasped as he pulled on his previously discarded shirt. "Excuse me! The only one who can't cook is Isabelle. I can cook! Tonight, I just got... distracted."

 

Magnus smirked. "Right. Distracted."

 

Alec shoved him playfully. "Yes, I was distracted. Now, tell me your recipe before I decide to not help at all."

 

The two got to work after that. Alec mixed the meat mixture and began forming the meatballs. He also was pointedly ignoring Magnus' innuendos because they honestly were not up to Magnus' standards. For example, he once said, "I really admire how you're handling those balls, Alexander. Think there's anywhere else you could apply that technique?" 

 

He could do better than that. 

 

As they cooked, Magnus used his magic to retrieve ingredients or cooking utensils. Sometimes it would brush close enough that Alec would feel it on the back of his neck. It made a pleasant tingle run down his spine. 

 

When the meatballs were in the oven, Alec stood next to him and asked about his day. Magnus told him everything, starting with how he and Catarina had found a series of spells with the sole purpose of treating high male libidos and ending with how the mundane businessman had taken one look at the demon before running from the building. Magnus considered it a pretty productive day overall. 

 

Within an hour, the couple was sat at the table with a delicious-looking meal in front of them. 

 

Magnus raised his glass and said, "Cheers to a great partnership that produced a wonderful meal."

 

"A partnership? That's hot," Alec responded, remembering Magnus' words from all those months ago. Magnus squinted at him fiercely, but a smile tugged at his lips. 

 

"Shut up and drink your rosé."

 

Alec laughed and sipped at his drink. Tonight was turning out to be pretty great after all. 

 

.

 

A little while later, Magnus and Alec ended up on the couch. The bottle of wine was nearly gone and they were both delightfully buzzed, but not drunk. It made Alec's body feel relaxed and his cheeks were rosy. 

 

"So," Magnus began, "what now?"

 

Alec shrugged. "It's your night. We can do whatever you want to do."

 

Magnus' face lit up at that. "Anything?"

 

Alec eyed him suspiciously. "Anything within reason, yes."

 

"Can I paint your nails?"

 

Alec almost burst out laughing at how simple the request was. He didn't know what he'd been expecting, but it definitely wasn't that. 

 

"Sure." Magnus grinned, but Alec held up a hand. "But I reserve the right to veto the color and I can take it off before work tomorrow if I want to. Do we have a deal?"

 

Magnus nodded eagerly. He summoned up his basket of polishes. He searched through it for a minute before pulling out a sparkly silver polish. 

 

Alec deadpanned at him. "Magnus, come on."

 

Magnus rolled his eyes. "It was worth a shot."

 

When Magnus pulled out a navy blue polish, Alec nodded. It was low-key and muted. It was exactly what Alec would've picked for himself. 

 

"You have no idea how much I've wanted to do your nails," Magnus sighed contentedly as he finished up the first coat. "I always thought the only thing that could make your hands any better was a nice polish to add a bit of flair." 

 

Alec raised his eyebrows. "And were you right? How's it looking so far?"

 

"It may quite possibly be the sexiest thing I've ever seen."

 

Alec bit back a smile. "Stop. That's not true."

 

"It is definitely true. The only thing I can imagine being hotter would be you in eyeliner. I'm certain I wouldn't survive that. I mean, those beautiful hazel eyes lined with black... I'm mere a man and there's only so much I can take."

 

Magnus moaned lowly and Alec could hear the teasing tone to it. He grabbed a throw pillow and tossed it at him.

 

"Hey!" Magnus laughed despite his attempts to keep a straight face. "Do you want me to mess this up?"

 

"I'll let you finish if you promise to stop."

 

"Stop what? Telling you how ridiculously attractive you are?"

 

Alec hid his blush by chucking another pillow at him.

 

Magnus was in a fit of giggles now and Alec felt his heart swell with love.  Magnus held up his hands.

 

"Okay! I surrender! I promise I won't tell you how handsome you are."

 

Alec relaxed back into the couch cushions. "Good. Thank you."

 

Magnus finished his nails and Alec had to admit that they actually looked pretty good. He'd always admired the way polish looked on Magnus, but he'd never thought it would look good on him too. 

 

Despite being finished painting his nails, Magnus kept his hand grasping Alec's. His thumb brushed over his skin absently. Then, he brought Alec's hand to his mouth and kissed his knuckles tenderly.

 

Alec couldn't even breathe. The gesture was so loving and sweet that Alec felt like he could cry. He could feel his heart straining against the confines of his chest, begging to find its way to Magnus'.  

 

"Thank you for tonight, Alexander," Magnus murmured. "This is really nice."

 

"It is really nice. I've missed having time just for us."

 

"Me too. And it feels so good to have someone care about me. I can't remember anyone ever caring about me like you do."

 

Alec's heart almost broke. Magnus deserved all of the love in the world. He deserved to have people who loved and cherished him. It didn't make sense to Alec how anyone could know Magnus and not want to give him every single star in the sky. 

 

"I'll always care about you, Magnus. For the rest of my life, I will care about you. No matter what."

 

Magnus seemed speechless. His lips parted and Alec heard a sharp inhale. It looked like it was finally sinking in that Alec loved Magnus as much as he said he did. Before, it might've just been something Magnus was vaguely aware of, but had turned away from for the fear that it might disappear right in front of his eyes. Magnus seemed to have finally seen Alec's love for what it was and found it to be strong and boundless. It wasn't going anywhere. Alec was determined to make sure that Magnus never forgot what it felt like to be completely and utterly adored. 

 

Alec leaned in and he knew this kiss would be different than the others they'd shared that night. The lusty hunger would be replaced with unwavering devotion. Magnus brushed his lips against Alec's, but it was barely even able to be considered a touch. Still, it left Alec shaken to his very core. 

 

Just as he was about completely close the distance between them, Alec's phone began to ring from the kitchen. 

 

Alec sighed and looked up into Magnus' eyes. Magnus had a small smile on his face, but it felt forced. 

 

"Duty calls, I suppose," Magnus chuckled.

 

Alec planted a kiss on his boyfriend's forehead. "I'll just be a minute. I'm not going anywhere."

 

Alec stood and walked to the kitchen. He grabbed his phone. 

 

"Hello?"

 

Immediately, the sound of chatter and music drifted through the speaker.

 

" _ Hey, Alec, _ " Izzy said over the clamor around her.  _ "Feeling any better?" _

 

Alec smiled and licked his lips. They tasted like wine and the raspberry Chapstick that Magnus was fond of. 

 

"Yeah, much better. Where are you? Is everything alright?"

 

_ "Everything is fine. I just wanted to check in on you. Also, if you're feeling up to it, you and Magnus should come out to the Hunter's Moon. Simon has a gig and he tells me he has a few new songs for tonight. It would be so fun if you two were here! Clary, Jace, and Luke are here too." _

 

"As tempting as that sounds," Alec laughed, "I think we'll have to take a rain check. I need to be with Magnus tonight."

 

_ "Is everything okay?"  _ Izzy asked worriedly. 

 

Alec shook his head at himself. "Yeah, sorry. I just meant that we've really been needing some alone time lately, you know?"

 

_ "Gotcha. Rain check. Simon's got another show in two weeks. Can I count the two of you in?" _

 

"We'll be there. Night, Iz. Love you."

 

_ "Love you too, Alec." _

 

Alec hung up and headed back to the living room. Magnus wasn't there anymore and his wine glass was noticeably missing. Upon further investigation, Alec saw the doors to the balcony open wide as a night breeze carried the city sounds into the loft. Magnus was looking out over New York, the moonlight casting him in a cool blue light. 

 

Alec came up behind him and began to rub Magnus' shoulders soothingly. Magnus leaned back into his hands and made a sound that was almost a purr. 

 

"You're still here?" Magnus sighed as Alec's fingers worked out the tightness in his muscles. 

 

"Where else would I be?"

 

"Oh, I don't know. Off saving the world, perhaps?"

 

"Who gives a damn about the world when you're right here?"

 

Magnus didn't answer that, but he reached up to give an affectionate wisp of a touch to his jaw. 

 

The two stayed there reveling in the tranquility of the night. It was so easy to just hold Magnus close and stare out at the horizon. Alec wished life could always be this simple. All that mattered was the sensation of Magnus' body beneath his palms and a sky full of stars. 

 

"I could get used to this," Magnus said with a content sigh.

 

"Get used to what?"

 

"A beautiful night, great food, a gorgeous Shadowhunter feeling me up."

 

Alec scoffed. "I am not feeling you up."

 

Magnus tilted his head back to look at him. "Really? Then what do you call this?" He gestured to where Alec's hands now rested. Apparently, they had drifted down of their own accord to Magnus' abs.

 

Alec tried to play it off. "Okay, well, so what? I'm allowed."

 

"You definitely are," Magnus drawled flirtatiously as he took one of Alec's hands away from his stomach. He tangled their fingers together and led Alec over the the couch. 

 

Alec settled against Magnus' chest. It was a firm, grounding force behind him. Magnus kept one hand in Alec's in their laps and threw the other arm around his shoulders. That hand combed absently through his dark hair.

 

He realized that nowhere felt quite as safe as Magnus' welcoming embrace. At the Institute, Alec had always been vigilant. He never felt like he could just enjoy being alive there. He always had to make sure he acted like the perfect son, the perfect brother, the perfect soldier. Here with Magnus, Alec only had to be himself. 

 

Alec felt love for this man gather in his heart for the millionth time that night. He nuzzled into his neck and tried to express just how much he treasured Magnus' company with the smallest of intimacies.

 

Before he could really enjoy the feeling of the closeness, Magnus yelped and jerked away.

 

"By the Angel, Alec! Your nose is freezing! Why are you always an icebox?"

 

Alec shrugged helplessly. This wasn't the first time Magnus had complained about his body temperature, though it usually happened in bed when Alec's feet brushed Magnus' under the covers. He always cuddled close to Magnus to warm himself up a little. It had earned him a very unique nickname. 

 

Magnus laughed under his breath. "Come here, you little heat leech."

 

Alec let Magnus guide his face closer to his. Magnus began pressing kisses all over his skin. They were laced with a warming magic. Gold sparks trailed over his cheeks, his nose, his chin. Magnus kissed every inch he could reach and it left Alec melting. 

 

"Magnus," he giggled. He felt giddy and light.  Magnus smiled against his skin as he pressed a kiss to a spot on Alec's neck that he knew was especially ticklish. Alec's laughter intensified until his stomach ached. Alec swatted at Magnus halfheartedly, not really wanting to let go of this moment. 

 

Alec was lucky, of that he was certain. Not everyone had the opportunity of being in a relationship with their best friend. Magnus was the most beautiful product of chance. 

 

When Magnus pulled away from his boyfriend, his eyes glittered with playfulness and his smile was like the sun. He furrowed his brow adorably as he looked at Alec with a curious expression. 

 

"What?" he asked. "What is that look on your face?" 

 

Alec shook his head as he wondered at the marvel that was Magnus Bane. 

 

"Nothing. It's just you– You make me happy."

 

Magnus softened immediately. He kept on grinning, but now it was something quieter, more private. 

 

"You make me happy too, Alexander."

 

Alec beamed and kissed him. He didn't know how this night could get any better.

 

Magnus was the first to pull away. He watched Alec for a moment before saying, "I want to give you something."

 

Alec nodded because what else could he do? 

 

Magnus' hands swirled with a blue cloud of magic. When it faded, a burgundy velvet box was left in its place. Magnus opened it to reveal a silver ring. It was stunning in its simplicity. There were no precious gems. There were no engravings. The only thing that stood out was the knot shape, like someone had tied the band shut. 

 

Alec's mind couldn't quite grasp what was going on. This wasn't– this couldn't be... Was Magnus doing what Alec thought he was doing?

 

"Magnus," Alec gasped. He struggled to find more words to say. His brain had short circuited. All he could do was gape.

 

Magnus seemed to read Alec's expression and decipher what chaos was going on in Alec's head. Shock dawned on his features.

 

"No! Oh Raziel, Alec! It's not an engagement ring," Magnus assured with an anxious edge to his voice. His next words came out hurried and nervous. "It's a promise ring. Oh no, that sounds like we're saving ourselves for marriage or something. It's too late for that, don't you think? Wait, that might be a purity ring. Doesn't matter. What I'm trying to say is that this is a promise ring. I've been meaning to give this to you for weeks now, but I couldn't find the right time. After the whole debacle with the Soul Sword, I wanted you to know that I'm not going anywhere. I am in this with you one hundred percent. I'm not going to leave you alone when things get difficult. This ring is to remind you that I promise to stay with you for as long as you'll have me. It's not an engagement ring, I swear. I would never propose. Wait, that came out wrong. It's not because I don't want to marry you. I would totally marry you. I would never  _ propose  _ though. I could never ask you to make that kind of commitment to me. I'm immortal and I would never force you into that kind of baggage for the long haul. Honestly, Alexander, if I had to marry someone, it would–"

 

Alec cut off his rambling by smashing their mouths together. Magnus hummed against his lips and pushed against Alec until there was no distance separating them.

 

When Alec broke the kiss, he remained close. Their foreheads touched and they panted into the space between them.  

 

"I love it, Magnus," Alec rasped as he caught his breath. 

 

"You do?"

 

"Of course. It's beautiful. Thank you."

 

Alec took the box from Magnus' hands and pulled out the ring. He slipped it onto his right ring finger. It fit perfectly.

 

Looking into Magnus' eyes, Alec almost wished it had been an engagement ring. He would've said yes.

 

Alec started to speak, "And about getting married–"

 

"Please forget I said anything. I didn't mean to upset you."

 

"You didn't. Not at all. When Shadowhunters fall in love, it's for life. So I'd like to marry you, Magnus Bane. Not right now, but one day."

 

Hope found its way onto Magnus' face, but it was hesitant. He seemed reluctant to believe that someone would want to spend the rest of their life with him.

 

"One day?"

 

Alec joined his newly ringed hand with one of Magnus'.

 

"One day."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Ring: https://www.etsy.com/listing/152773448/on-sale-sterling-silver-knot-ring-silver?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=silver%20promise%20ring&ref=sr_gallery_15


	6. Alliance

The summer night's air was doing nothing to improve Alec's mood. It was humid and stifling. He could feel sweat along his hairline, trickling down his spine and dampening his navy blue t-shirt.

  
It was just one more thing to put him in a sour mood. He and Magnus were _supposed_ to be visiting Pandemonium tonight. Magnus had wanted to go dancing and Alec had wanted to see him happy. It was a win-win situation. But, to Alec's extreme annoyance, he'd received a text from Jace just as they were walking into the club. Apparently, his siblings, Clary, and Simon needed backup on their patrol. The text had said something about a horde of Dahak demons, and Alec couldn't refrain from groaning.

  
After a few apologies from Alec and multiple reassurances from Magnus that it really was okay, Magnus had portaled them to meet with their friends.

  
Alec channeled his frustrations into slicing into the disgusting looking demons before him. Unfortunately, he felt no release as they disintegrated at his feet. Their deaths didn't erase the heat or the interrupted date or the foul ichor on his new jeans.

  
Alec was, quite frankly, pissed.

  
"Alec, four o'clock!" Jace warned. Alec spun and threw his dagger right between the monster's glittering black eyes. He drew his bow and took out a demon that was eyeing Clary hungrily.

  
The fight lasted another ten minutes. Once it was over, there was a collective sigh of relief.

  
"Alexander," Magnus said from behind him.

  
Alec turned and his eyes fell on his boyfriend. He looked unharmed, but Alec had to be sure.

  
"Magnus? You good?" he asked as he approached Magnus.

  
Magnus waved off Alec's concern. "Peachy." He looked down at his dark purple jacket and frowned at the smear of ichor on the collar. "I'm afraid I cannot say the same for my coat."

  
Alec rolled his eyes and draped an arm over his shoulders. He let himself breathe a bit. Magnus was safe. That was the most important thing.

  
"What a shame," Alec teased as he pressed his lips to Magnus' temple. Magnus glared playfully in response.

  
"Never fear, my love." Magnus snapped his fingers and the ichor disappeared from both his and Alec's clothes. "My magic is _very_ versatile."

  
"Trust me, I'm aware," Alec whispered for only Magnus to hear, his breath ghosting across Magnus' cheek. He smirked devilishly and Magnus matched it perfectly. After a year together, Magnus had been more than creative when it came to how he used his magic when it was just the two of them.

  
"Hey, Magnus, you wanna help the rest of us out?" Jace called from a few feet away as he motioned at his absolutely destroyed shirt.

  
"Suddenly, I'm drained of all my magic," Magnus replied, feigning exhaustion and leaning more on Alec.

  
"I guess you'll just have to find your own Warlock boyfriend, Jace," Alec offered.

  
"Maybe I will."

  
Clary smacked his arm. "Really? And what about me?"

  
Jace shrugged. "What are you gonna do to fix this mess of a shirt, Clary? Create a rune?"

  
She shoved him lightheartedly before wrapping an arm around his waist. "You're such a jerk, Herondale."

  
"You love me anyway."

  
Clary gave him a withering look. "I know, it surprised me too."

  
Everyone laughed at the stunned look on Jace's face.

  
Alec looked over to Izzy and Simon. His hand was just barely resting against the small of her back. She leaned close and whispered something into his ear. Simon grinned and Izzy's eyes glittered with mischief.

  
Those two confused Alec to no end. Izzy swore up and down that they weren't a couple and, according to Clary, Simon said the same. Still, they were practically dating at this point. Wherever Izzy went, Simon wasn't far behind. Alec had caught them holding hands and snuggled up on the couch during a movie night at the loft last month. She flirted with him endlessly and Simon was wrapped around her little finger, but nothing ever seemed to happen between them. It was the oddest "friendship" Alec had ever seen.

  
Simon murmured to her and Izzy looked at him with such wonder in her eyes. Alec could tell she was crushing hard on the vampire, no matter how much she would deny it.

  
"How long until you think those two get together?" Magnus asked him.

  
"I give it a month."

  
Magnus nodded thoughtfully. "Mm, my guess is it happens within the week."

  
"Within the week? I love you, but you're insane. Simon doesn't have it in him and Isabelle seems happy to keep things the way they are."

  
"Under normal circumstances, you would be correct. However, I happen to have a very lucrative bet going on with your parabatai. I'm not about to lose to an arrogant Shadowhunter like Jace Herondale."

  
Alec quirked an interested eyebrow. "Oh, really? What are the stakes?"

  
Magnus just flashed him a sly grin before announcing, "Alright, I'm feeling charitable. Drinks on me at the Hunter's Moon. Who's up for it?"

  
A round of cheers erupted from their group.

  
Magnus clapped his hands together delightedly. "Wonderful."

  
They started walking toward the bar when Magnus patted Alec's chest and left to join Simon and Izzy.

  
"Excuse me, Isabelle. I hate to steal him from you, but there is a matter I have to discuss with our friend Simon."

  
.

  
The Hunter's Moon was the perfect spot for Alec to unwind. Sure, the night had not gone as he'd planned, but it hadn't been completely ruined. The hum of chatter and the warmth of the alcohol in his veins loosened his shoulders and made his smile easy.

  
Alec leaned back against the bar, nursed some cocktail Magnus had ordered for him, and observed what his friends were doing. Jace and Clary had taken residency in a booth in the back. Clary was showing Jace some sketches on her phone and Jace was nodding proudly in response.

  
Simon was up on the small stage doing an impromptu performance. Maia and Izzy had practically begged him to do a set, arguing that this crowd needed something to liven them up. Izzy was immersed in conversation with Maia's boyfriend Bat, but Alec noticed a small sway to her shoulders to the beat of the music.

  
Magnus, Luke, and Raphael were sitting at a table by the stage. Luke and Raphael seemed to be having a very passionate debate. Luke was gesturing wildly and Raphael's lips were pursed in sour annoyance. Magnus watched them go back and forth with an amused expression.

  
Alec couldn't help but let his gaze settle on his boyfriend for a little longer than what is probably appropriate in public. Magnus was still dressed in his clubbing outfit and it absolutely devastated Alec. It was all tight pants and bare skin. His hair was styled into the mohawk that Magnus had been favoring recently and Alec felt weak in the knees. He really was blessed to have an actual god for a boyfriend.

  
Magnus glanced away from his companions for a moment and caught Alec's eye. He quirked an eyebrow at Alec, as if he'd been expecting Alec to avert his stare now that he'd been caught. Alec didn't look away. He just continued to drink in the sight of Magnus shamelessly. Alec got the feeling that Magnus didn't mind the attention one bit.

  
After what felt like hours of just staring at each other, Magnus broke the eye contact and murmured something to his friends. Luke smirked and Raphael rolled his eyes. He got up from his chair and sauntered over to Alec.

  
"See something you like, Shadowhunter?" Magnus drawled as he pressed close to Alec's side. He was a furnace and Alec could feel his heat through his shirt.

  
"I'm looking at you, aren't I?"

  
Magnus tilted his head back and laughed. It was pure and clean like a breath of fresh air. Magnus' laugh made Alec's world zoom into perfect focus.

  
"That wasn't an answer, Alexander."

  
Alec turned to face him fully, placing a guiding hand on Magnus' waist.

  
"Wasn't it?"

  
He drew Magnus close. Alec wanted nothing more than to drown in Magnus and lose his awareness of anything that wasn't the man in front of him, but they were interrupted unfortunately.

  
"Hey!" Maia scolded. "No making out on my bar. Get a room, lovebirds."

  
Magnus pulled away and leveled the girl with an unimpressed look. "I was planning on it, my dear."

  
The corner of Maia's mouth flicked up and she chuckled to herself as she turned away.

  
Alec sighed and leaned back against the bar. He downed the last of his drink to calm himself down when all he could feel was an overwhelming desire to just drag Magnus out of the bar and kiss the hell out of him.

  
"Are you feeling quite alright, Alexander?" Magnus purred, batting his lashes with faux innocence. He trailed his fingers down Alec's chest, separate from his skin by mere centimeters of fabric.

  
"Magnus," Alec warned.

  
"What?" Magnus dragged his nails against the sensitive spot on Alec's hip.

  
"Don't do this."

  
"Do what?" He snuck his fingers under the hem of his shirt, tracing Alec's waistband.

  
"Tease me."

  
Magnus grinned. "But it's so fun."

  
Alec glared at him. "Yeah, for you. I, on the other hand, feel like I'm gonna explode if you keep this up."

  
"Explode, hm? That sounds interesting." He moved his hand to Alec's back, resting dangerously close to the curve of Alec's ass.

  
Alec sucked in a breath through gritted teeth. "You are the worst, Magnus Bane."

  
"You're always such a romantic, Alexander," Magnus teased before slipping his arm into a more chaste position around Alec's waist.

  
Alec wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him closer. Even with how infuriating Magnus could be, Alec couldn't imagine a world without his sly grins and roguish remarks.

  
"Can we just get out of here already?" Alec asked, feeling a little desperate at this point.

  
"Not yet, my love."

  
"Why not?"

  
"I want to collect on my bet with your brother before we leave."

  
Alec scoffed. "Yeah, good luck with that. First you said Izzy and Simon would get together within the week, and now you think it'll happen tonight?"

  
Magnus glanced over to where Izzy and Simon were now standing by the stage since the Simon's performance had ended.

  
"Well, let's say that my reward is looking _very_ attractive right now. I don't feel like waiting for the week to be up."

  
"What makes you think you can do this?"

  
Magnus gave him the smallest of smirks before leaning in and whispering huskily into Alec's ear, "I'm highly motivated. What could stop me?"

  
Alec shivered at the feeling of Magnus' breath ghosting across his skin. The sensation only multiplied Alec's already present desire. Magnus pulled away and left Alec reeling.

  
Alec was just about to beg Magnus to give up on this stupid bet and take him home when Simon and Izzy approached them and sat on bar stools next to them.

  
"Wow, Alec, are you okay?" Simon asked. "You look a little flushed, man."

  
"I'm fine," Alec said hurriedly. Izzy and Magnus shared a knowing look and his sister's eyes gleamed with amusement.

  
"That was a very nice set, Simon," Magnus commented, drawing the attention away from Alec's growing embarrassment. "Don't you think so, Isabelle?"

  
Izzy broke into a grin. "Of course! I mean he's always so amazing up there. It was a good mix of his new stuff and some of his older songs tonight. Simon deserves a bigger venue, if you ask me, but he'll get there someday."

  
Simon glowed under her praise. "Oh, yeah? Are you still gonna be there if I'm doing some worldwide stadium tour?"

  
"I wouldn't miss a single show. That's what portals are for, right?"

  
He laughed, a modest blush gracing his cheeks. "Please, I wouldn't put you through that."

  
Izzy smiled and placed a hand over his. "Put me through it? Simon, literally nothing would make me happier than getting to see you do what you love and getting all the recognition for it that you deserve."

  
There was a certain sincerity in her voice that seemed to leave Simon speechless (for once in his life). It was ridiculously obvious that Izzy would go to the ends of the Earth for him. This might be the first time Simon really understood that.

  
Simon looked lost. His eyes shifted to Alec and Magnus, a silent plea for guidance. Magnus offered him a weighted gaze and the two had a silent conversation that Alec couldn't decipher.

  
After a few more seconds, Simon looked back at Izzy. There was something new in his eyes, a bravery that hinted at what he was about to do. Simon took a steadying breath before gripping Izzy's hand that was still settled on his.

  
"Go out with me, Izzy."

  
Izzy froze in shock. Her eyes were almost comically wide and she lost the composure that she usually protected herself with. Alec could see every trace of fear and surprise and admiration that had crept on to her face. Izzy was so afraid of getting her heart broken, but she thought that Simon might he worth the risk.

  
Simon, apparently, misinterpreted her reaction as rejection. He stood and seemed unable to keep his balance.

  
"Crap, Iz, I'm sorry. I thought I was getting signals. Forget this happened. It was stu-"

  
Izzy surged forward and cut him off with a kiss.

  
Alec looked over and Magnus was smiling at the two. It went beyond satisfaction over winning the bet. He was genuinely pleased to see his friends finally find happiness in each other.

  
When Izzy moved away, both of them were laughing.

  
"So, that's a yes?" Simon chuckled.

  
"It's a hell yes," she answered, a fond smile curving her lips and directed only towards the boy in front of her.

  
While the two continued to marvel at one another, Magnus spoke softly to Alec.

  
"Now, we can leave. Let me speak to Jace and meet me at the door."

  
Alec looked over to Jace and Clary's table. Jace had his head in his hands while Clary laughed at him.

  
He pressed a lingering kiss to Magnus' cheek. "Don't take too long," he murmured against his jaw.

  
"Trust me, I have no intention of being away from you for a second longer than I need to."

  
With that, he strode over to Jace. Alec smiled at the look of resentment on his brother's face. He should've known better than to challenge Magnus.

  
Alec turned back to Izzy and Simon. They were were speaking animatedly with each other like they always did, but now their hands were linked tightly between them.

  
"Alright, Magnus and I are heading out," Alec informed them as he shrugged on his jacket. "Try not to overdo it on Magnus' tab, okay?"

  
"Not a problem," Simon said. His voice was strained and he seemed hesitant. "And um, Alec, you're okay with Izzy and me, right?"

  
Alec fought the urge to laugh. Izzy didn't need his seal of approval for anyone she wanted to date. Even if she did, Simon wasn't exactly the kind of guy that Alec would be afraid of dating his sister. He was the least threatening creature to have ever been created. Still, the look on his face was too priceless to pass up on.

  
Alec shot him his signature icy look. He stood up straighter and crowded a bit more into Simon's space, looking down at him. "Is there a reason I shouldn't be okay with it, Lewis?"

  
Somehow, the vampire managed to go even paler.

  
"No. Not at all," Simon sputtered out anxiously. "I would uh– I would never–"

  
"Never what?"

  
"I would never hurt her," Simon managed to get out.

  
Alec smirked. "That's what I thought."

  
He patted Simon's arm, probably a bit harder than needed, and walked toward the door.

  
Alec could hear Simon freaking out behind him and Izzy cackling gleefully.

  
"Why would you do that? The poor boy's going to have nightmares for weeks."

  
Alec turned to find Magnus shaking his head at him.

  
"He just makes it too easy, Magnus. I couldn't resist."

  
Magnus considered it for a moment, tilting his head thoughtfully.

  
"I suppose you're right.

  
"I always am," Alec retorted.

  
Magnus snorted gracelessly. "You keep believing that if it helps you sleep at night."

  
They stepped out into the night air and Alec entwined their fingers.

  
"Hey, if you keep being mean, I'm not gonna sleep with you tonight," Alec threatened, but it lacked any sort of heat.

  
"Sure. You say that now, but we both know you'll be trying to jump my bones before we even get home."

  
Alec tried to protest, but he was at a loss for words. Alec Lightwood wasn't one to lie and he knew Magnus was right so he grumbled to himself and pretended not to notice Magnus' growing smirk.

  
The air still felt thick, but Alec assumed that it wasn't all due to the weather now. Magnus was so close that Alec could smell his cologne and Alec felt like it was suffocating him. Alec could barely breathe and he was losing any semblance of control.

  
Alec asked, "Are you ever gonna tell me what you won in that bet with Jace?"

  
"Oh, it's so good, Alexander. I think you'll definitely appreciate it."

  
Alec stopped and faced his boyfriend. There was a troublemaker gleam in his eyes. Magnus bit his lip in a way that dared Alec to push him for an answer, dared him to make a move.

  
"That wasn't an answer, Magnus." Alec tried to move closer but Magnus matched every step forward with a step backward.

  
"Wasn't it?"

  
Alec walked them backward until Magnus was leaned up against the nearest lamppost. He settled his hands on Magnus' hips and pressed his fingers into the black denim. Alec tilted his head down until their lips were just barely touching.

  
"No," Alec murmured. Magnus shuddered under his touch, body pushing forward of its own accord. "It wasn't."

  
Magnus gulped and seemed to be having trouble speaking. "I guess you're going to have to persuade it out of me."

  
"My pleasure."

  
Alec kissed him fully for a moment before pulling away. Magnus chased his lips, clearly dissatisfied with the briefness of the kiss. Alec, however, was pleased; he could feel his lover already coming undone under his fingertips, could feel the fluttering tempo of his pulse when he moved to brush his lips against Magnus' neck.

  
"Why are you being so gentle?" Magnus panted as Alec nibbled at Magnus' ear.

  
Alec breathed out a laugh. "To break your will. You'll tell me eventually."

  
"It's not working," Magnus argued weakly, breath hitching when Alec nipped at his throat.

  
"Yes it is," Alec said, allowing his hand to skim along the growing bulge in Magnus' pants.

  
Alec met his gaze right as his glamour dropped, cat eyes glowing golden in the dark. They were blown wide with lust and evoked that very same feeling from Alec.

  
Magnus gave in and nodded. "Fine. I was _hoping_ it would be a surprise but–"

  
He cut himself off and his attention shifted to a spot over Alec's shoulder. His muscles tensed under Alec's palms.

  
"Magnus? What's wrong?"

  
Magnus' stare flicked back to Alec's before he leaned to press a kiss to Alec's neck.

  
"Don't look now," Magnus muttered against his skin, "but we have company."

  
Alec groaned. "You're kidding."

  
"I wish I was, darling. Act natural. They won't approach if they don't know we're on to them."

  
"How many?" Alec nosed along Magnus' jaw.

  
"Five, by my count. They look like Nephilim."

  
Alec sighed. "They must be leftovers from the Circle. We knew there had to be a few stragglers out there somewhere."

  
"How do you want to play this?"

  
Alec thought for a second, his natural strategic ability kicking in. "Head into that alley down the street. Keep this out of the mundanes' way. Can you cloak us so we can back them into the dead end?"

  
Magnus rolled his eyes. "I'm not the High Warlock of Brooklyn for nothing, Alexander."

  
Alec reached for his hand. "Of course. You ready?"

  
Magnus nodded and the pair headed of down the street. If Alec listened closely, he could hear footsteps nearby. He could see two shadowy figures in his peripheral vision.

  
As they neared the alley, Magnus spoke up. "Alexander?"

  
"Hm?"

  
"Do you wanna use the rune?"

  
Alec didn't even need Magnus to specify. "Always."

  
"Your stele is in your back pocket, right?" Alec nodded in response. "Allow me to get that for you."

  
Magnus released Alec's hand and slid his own into Alec's back pocket. Alec bit his lip to hold back a laugh when Magnus squeezed his ass.

  
"That's not my stele, Magnus."

  
"My mistake."

  
Magnus retrieved the stele and tenderly took Alec's wrist in his grip. He discreetly drew Alec's half of the Alliance rune with steady strokes. A surge of energy surfaced under Alec's skin. It was indisputably present, but Alec didn't quite have access to it yet. It was a feeling more than anything; it was the potential of a power now locked behind iron doors.

  
"Your turn," Magnus said lowly. He passed the stele over to Alec, who completed the rune on Magnus' tan skin.

  
The iron doors swung open. Magnus's magic burned in every single one of his atoms. He could feel Magnus everywhere; it almost felt like they were one entity, combined on every level except physical. Magnus took in a shaky breath. The initial bonding of the Alliance rune was always overwhelming. Alec wasn't sure if everyone who used this rune felt the same way or if it was like this because of their relationship. It felt blindingly intimate to have the man he loved laced through every inch of him.

  
Alec shook his head to clear it. He needed to focus.

  
"Come on," Alec said, tugging Magnus into the alley.

  
Magnus cast a cloaking spell with a flourish and a flurry of green sparks. The Circle members wouldn't even realize they were walking into an ambush. As footsteps grew closer, Magnus and Alec pressed their bodies flat against a wall so that the Shadowhunters could pass by.

  
Suddenly, the five Nephilim ran into the alley. Alec held his breath when one got far too close for comfort.

  
A big, burly man reached the end of the alley before turning back to his companions. His face was red and contorted with fury.

  
"Where the hell did they go?" he growled.

  
When the last of the Shadowhunters and made it deep into the alley, Alec and Magnus stepped into the entryway. Alec gave Magnus an affirmative nod and the cloaking spell dropped, leaving them visible.

  
"Hello, boys," Magnus sneered. "Looking for us?"

  
The group whirled around to face them. Alec instinctively reached for his seraph blade.

  
"How did you–" one of the men started to say. Before he could finish, Magnus reached out with a fiery tendril of magic and wrapped it around his neck.

  
"Oh, what did you expect from a ' _filthy_ warlock' or whatever it is that your kind like to call me?"

  
A strangled cry tore from the man's throat as Magnus tightened his hold.

  
"Let him go," the burly man demanded.

  
"Maybe if you ask nicely," Magnus shot back.

  
The group shifted uncomfortably, hands twitching at the hilts of their blades.

  
Magnus sighed dramatically and flicked his wrist, sending the man flying against the nearest wall. "Too late."

  
The first death was the catalyst for the all-out brawl that ensued. A smaller man was the first to take action. He aimed a dagger at Alec's head and let it zip through the air. Unfortunately for him, Alec easily deflected it by drawing on Magnus' magic and propelled it back into the throwers thigh.

  
From there, things quickly escalated. The small man had rushed Alec and the two were engaged in hand-to-hand combat. The man was quick but he lacked any sort of refinement. He left himself exposed and Alec used that to his advantage. It only took a swift kick to his injured leg to take him down. Alec plunged his blade into the man's chest before turning to another man.

  
Alec didn't usually find any pleasure in killing. It was always a job, a duty. He didn't chase the thrill of it like Jace and Izzy did. They craved the excitement of slicing through demons and watching as they were sent back to hell. Alec couldn't relate to that.

  
Killing Circle members, however, was a different story. Demons were inherently evil; they had no control over that. Circle members, though, had chosen to live a life of cruelty and hate. They had willingly pledged their allegiance to a madman intent on murdering the Downworld. Could Alec really be blamed for finding satisfaction in their demise?

  
Alec looked over to where Magnus was taunting two of their enemies. He would let them close before dodging them easily, the speed granted by the Alliance rune only making him marginally faster. White hot magic licked at their skin. It was enough to burn them, but not enough to take them down. Magnus enjoyed seeing the growing rage and frustration in their eyes as he teased and toyed with them.

  
Alec threw a particularly forceful punch at the bearded man in front of him. He stumbled backward and tripped over a group of trash cans. He hit the ground and groaned. Alec towered over him, pointing his seraph blade at the man's throat.

  
"Say hello to Valentine in hell for me," Alec growled. With that, Alec slashed the man's throat.

  
Magnus was still engaged in battle with the remaining two, drawing it out as long as possible. He could end it whenever he wanted, but he was clearly having fun.   
Alec drew his bow and shot the smaller of the two men.

  
"I could've handled it," Magnus huffed, facing Alec. He froze the leader and only living opponent in place with a snap and a spark of blue magic.

  
"I know, but I'm ready to go home." Alec laced his tone with something seductive and heavy, making it obvious what he was implying. Magnus let his gaze drag up and down Alec's body appreciatively, weighing his options.

  
"I am too. Just let me handle this," Magnus responded. With another snap of his fingers, the man unfroze and collapsed backward onto the ground. Magnus summoned a blue, crackling ball of magic into his hand.

  
"Wait, wait," the man begged. "Please, don't kill me."

  
Magnus raised an eyebrow. "Not so tough now, are you?"

  
His features were clouded with desperation and terror. Alec almost felt sympathy for him.

  
"Please," he cried. "Show mercy."

  
Magnus crinkled his nose.

  
"Mercy's not really my thing when it comes to Circle members."

  
Then, Magnus gasped and his face lit up.

  
"But maybe there is a solution for the both of us! You say you want to live?"

  
The man nodded eagerly.

  
"Well, alright then. You get to keep your life. But, you'll have to spend it in the Clave's prison. Lucky for me, I hear that they have become even less tolerant of traitor Shadowhunters in recent years. It'll make you wish I'd killed you. Sounds like the perfect punishment, don't you think?"

  
The man went pale. "Wait, no—"

  
Magnus conjured a portal and pulled the man up and into it.

  
Alec chuckled as Magnus dusted off his coat and fixed his hair.

  
The adrenaline was still rushing through his veins. His heart pounded and his skin felt alive with energy. The Alliance rune pulsed gently on his wrist, a blaring reminder that he and Magnus were still bound together.

  
"So," Magnus began, "now that that's been dealt with, where were we before we were so rudely interrupted?"

  
Alec approached him urgently. He was tired of waiting to feel Magnus under his hands. They'd been so close all night but they never got far enough to fall over the edge, getting interrupted just as things were getting good. Alec needed to dive into Magnus and taste every inch of him.

  
Alec pushed him roughly against the wall. "Right about here," he murmured.

  
They crashed together passionately, a hot mess of tongues and teeth. Magnus' magic flared within Alec, reacting under Alec's kiss. It nearly drove Alec to insanity. It was one thing to see Magnus want him, to feel his warm skin, to hear him moan Alec's name. It was a totally different experience to _feel_ his desire, to know it deep within his very soul as if it were his own.

  
"You feel it too, right?" Magnus breathed between kisses.

  
Alec nodded, panting into Magnus' mouth. "You have no idea."

  
Magnus sank his fingers into Alec's shoulders and kissed him feverishly. His lips were demanding and wet, swollen from the sheer force of meeting with Alec's.

  
Alec placed a final kiss on Magnus' lips before drifting down his jaw and neck. He tasted sweat and a thundering pulse under his tongue. "By the Angel, you are so hot," Alec whispered against Magnus' throat when Magnus tugged on Alec's hair.

  
Magnus pushed on Alec and turned them so that Alec was pressed to the wall. The brick was ice against his overheated skin.

  
Magnus lifted Alec's chin with his finger. "The Angel has nothing to do with it."

  
His words dripped with pure sin. Alec looked at Magnus from under hooded eyelids, the sound of his voice sending a shiver down his body.

  
The time their lips were apart felt far too long. Alec longed to reconnect their mouths and finish what they'd started.

  
"Magnus," he pleaded.

  
That simple utterance was enough to have Magnus surging forward again. His hands cupped Alec's face in a gentle way that completely contrasted the roughness of the rest of their bodies.

  
Magnus smiled when Alec gripped his ass and pulled him impossibly closer. Alec was over distance and clothes separating them. He needed Magnus, just Magnus, more than he needed air.

  
"Home. Now," Alec moaned, incapable of forming complete sentences.

  
"I couldn't agree more," Magnus muttered.

  
Alec opened his eyes and just took in the sight before him. Magnus' eyes were dark and hungry, drinking him in. His hair was disheveled and his jacket was hanging off his shoulders.

  
As Magnus conjured up a portal, Alec's gaze fell onto the carnage they'd be leaving behind. Despite how much Alec wanted to forget about everything except Magnus, a nagging voice in the back of his head told him that this has to be dealt with before a mundane stumbled onto it.

  
Alec forced himself to say the word, "Wait."

  
Magnus stopped his movements.

  
Alec hated himself for this, for interrupting what he'd been dying to do all night. "We have to deal with the bodies before we leave."

  
"Alexander," Magnus whined as he buried his head in the crook of Alec's neck, "please tell me you're kidding."

  
"I wish I was."

  
Magnus groaned impatiently.

  
"Just let me text Izzy. She and Jace can take care of it. I just need a minute."

  
Magnus didn't answer, but just kept his face hidden in Alec's shoulder.

  
Alec took that as a sign that he should just text her and get it over with.

  
Alec pulled out his phone.

  
_A: Hey. Need your help with some clean up_

  
As always, Isabelle answered within seconds.

  
_I: I thought you were going home with Magnus, not fighting demons???_

  
Alec was about to answer when he felt Magnus nip at his neck.

  
"What are you doing?" Alec gasped.

  
"Giving you some incentive to hurry it up," Magnus replied, mouthing at Alec's collar bone.

  
That was as good an incentive as Alec had ever seen.

  
_A: Circle members followed us. Had to take care of it. Bodies are in alley four blocks from bar on way to loftggdggfff_

  
Magnus had decided that Alec needed more motive and had dropped his hand to Alec's crotch. Alec threw his head back.

  
"Fuck," he moaned.

  
_I: Did you just have a seizure or something_

  
Alec was ready to scream. He needed Magnus _now_.

  
_A: Or something. Just do it_

  
_I: I'm with Si. Why can't you do it_

  
Magnus sucked unrelentingly at Alec's throat. Why did Izzy have to be so difficult?

  
_A: IM BUSY_

  
_I: Oh are you and Magnus..._

  
_A: YES_

  
_I: Lol don't worry big bro. Jace and I will handle it_

  
"Okay okay okay," Alec said, shoving his phone into his pocket. "It's taken care of."

  
"Finally," Magnus growled. He finished his portal and shoved Alec through it before Alec even had the chance to blink.

  
Alec immediately fell onto a bed. Magnus was on top of him within seconds. His fingers were already tugging at Alec's jacket, which Alec readily helped him remove. Magnus gripped Alec's hands, pinning him down.

  
Alec noticed that the comforter didn't feel quite like the one they normally had on their bed. He breathed deeply and the air lacked the scent of the vanilla candle they liked to burn at all hours of the day. Alec opened his eyes and looked at their surroundings. They most definitely were not in their bedroom.

  
"Wait, Magnus, where are we?"

  
Magnus backed off of Alec for a moment and motioned to the window. Alec looked out and he lost his breath. The Eiffel Tower and city lights glimmered outside the glass.

  
"We're in Paris?" Alec breathed.

  
Magnus smiled and brushed Alec's cheek with his thumb. "I told you the bet was for something good, Alexander. Three days with no interruptions, no paperwork, no demons. Just you, me, and the City of Love."

  
Alec grinned because that sounded absolutely heavenly.

  
"Magnus, this is so amazing. I don't know how to thank you for this."

  
Magnus leaned in close, gripping Alec's shirt and pulling him near.

  
"I can think of a few ways."

  
Magnus kissed him and it was only the first of many, many more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this took so long. The holiday season has been super hectic and it was difficult to find time to write. 
> 
> The next one is the last in this work. It's gonna be an angsty one, people. Do with that info what you will.
> 
> Thanks for reading! <3


	7. Grief

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO THE TAGS 
> 
> Let me start with a warning: this chapter is sad as hell and it was very difficult for me to write. I wasn't even sure I was going to post it, but I worked really hard to do the idea justice and stay true to Magnus and Alec. I feel that this chapter is very different thematically and stylistically from the rest, but I felt like I had to write it. 
> 
> If the title doesn't give it away, this is a warning that this chapter contains a major character death
> 
> Don't hate me...

Magnus opened his eyes and reveled in the golden morning light. The air was quiet and warm, covering him like a like a blanket. There was nothing particularly special about that morning, but it started with the same peace that days had started with for the past fifty years. It started with silken sheets and sun peeking through the curtains and Alexander beside him. 

 

He glanced over at his husband and love swelled in his heart. Fifty years had passed with Alexander by his side and Magnus had never grown tired of it. He treasured every morning together where Alec would wake and greet him with the sweetest kisses and the gentlest of touches. Magnus would look at his face, now covered with laugh lines and signs of age that made him no less beautiful than when they'd met, and feel utter adoration for the man. Magnus would sink into him and drown in the safety of Alec's arms. 

 

Magnus would have loved to stay in this little bubble of bliss, but he knew that the day had to begin whether he liked or not. He and Alec had plans to meet up with Alec's siblings and their families this morning for breakfast. Magnus checked the clock and groaned. They'd overslept and were now officially running late. They were meant to be at Clary and Jace's house in ten minutes. Maybe the two bottles of wine with dinner last night hadn't been a great idea. 

 

He rolled over and placed a hand against Alec's runed back. 

 

"Time to get up, my love," Magnus whispered and pressed a kiss to his shoulder. "It seems we overslept and we need to hurry up. It would be rude to keep our family waiting, don't you think?"

 

Alec simply slept on and Magnus couldn't hold back his chuckle. He always had been a lightweight and it was no wonder that the wine had knocked him out cold.

 

As much as it pained Magnus to wake him from such a sound slumber, he had to get up.  

 

"Alexander, dear, come on. You have to get up," Magnus laughed and pulled Alec onto his back. 

 

In that moment, ice ran through Magnus' veins. As he looked down at his husband, he knew something was very, very wrong. He was pale as snow and he didn't react to Magnus' touch. 

 

"Alexander?" Magnus breathed, praying that his mind was playing tricks on him. He tried not to panic as his shaking hands reached out to lay against Alec's chest. His skin was cold and Magnus couldn't feel the steady and familiar thump of his heart. 

 

Magnus shook his head, not believing what he was seeing.  _ No. This wasn't happening. This wasn't happening. This wasn't happening.      _

 

Magnus grabbed him forcefully by the shoulders, trying to shake him awake.

 

"No, Alexander, please no. You have to wake up, sweetheart. You have to wake up for me. Please please please open your eyes, Alec."

 

Alec remained motionless under Magnus' hands and Magnus' heart stopped beating. Alec wasn't— he couldn't be–

 

Magnus tried to push down his fear. No, this didn't mean he was gone. Magnus could save him. Magnus just had to do something,  _ anything. _

 

Magnus desperately poured all of his magic into Alec, letting the wild, blue flames shoot right into his core. The flames went searching for something to heal, something to fix, something to put an end to the horrible, gut-wrenching terror that had invaded Magnus' soul. 

 

"Come on, Alexander," he grunted through his teeth, exertion already making him dizzy. "Please, stay with me. You can't leave me yet. You can't go. You just  _ can't. _ "

 

Magnus barely noticed when the tears started to cloud his vision. He ignored them and pushed on, refusing to let the love of his life die right in front of him. What kind of high warlock would he be if he couldn't even save the one person he cared about more than anything in the world? Magnus could do this. He could save Alexander and then everything would be okay again. He wouldn't lose him. He couldn't. 

 

No matter how hard Magnus tried, Alec wasn't waking up. He should be breathing, blinking, moving, anything to show that he was still alive. But he wasn't doing a single thing. He just laid there, still in a way that made Magnus feel sick. The magic in his palms began to flicker and falter and eventually died out as reality began to choke him. 

 

Magnus could hardly breathe, but he tried to speak to his husband. "Al-Alec, please, d-don't leave me. D-don't do this."

 

He ran his fingers down his love's cheek in a silent plea for him to return. Even now, Alexander was beautiful. His face was still the same handsome collection of features that Magnus had committed to memory. He still had long lashes and dark stubble scattered along his jaw line. Alexander looked the same and Magnus almost could've pretended he was still alive if it wasn't for the taint of death that now haunted his face. Looking at him now made Magnus feel a pain so excruciating and so all-encompassing that he was certain he was shattering into thousands of little pieces. 

 

Magnus couldn't do this.  He couldn't bear to stare into the face of his lover lying lifeless in their bed, simultaneously looking so familiar yet so unnervingly and indisputably  _ wrong _ . No, he'd already seen enough to ruin him forever. Even one more second of this was bound to kill Magnus right then and there. Magnus tried to scramble out of bed, but ended up getting tangled in the red sheets and tumbling gracelessly onto the floor with a dull thud. When he cried out, he wasn't sure if it was from the impact or from the way his heart was screaming out for Alexander. 

 

Magnus couldn't force himself to move from his spot on the ground. He was weak and trembling and exhausted. Any sight besides the dark mahogany floor would have left him overwhelmed and utterly undone. As long as he focused on the little grooves and patterns in the wood, he could push everything away. He could shut out the world and shove this ache away enough for him to breathe. 

 

Magnus wasn't sure how long he laid there, busy attempting to carry on with the in and out of his gasps, before he heard footsteps barreling into their loft. He didn't even look up when the bedroom door slammed open and voices shouted and wept around him. 

 

"Papa!"

 

Hands grabbed at his arms and Magnus allowed them to pull him into a sitting position. He still stared at the ground absently and didn't even bother to look at who had entered. What did it matter now? None of them were Alec.

 

Gentle hands guided his face upward and he was forced to shift his gaze.

 

"Papa, look at me. Are you hurt? Are you okay?"

 

Magnus focused his eyes and found Rafael looking at him. 

 

"Raf?" Magnus croaked out, his voice rough and strangled. 

 

Rafael looked so much like Alec in that moment, a Shadowhunter through and through. His brow was furrowed and determined. His lips were drawn into a tight line.

 

"Are you okay?"

 

Magnus honestly didn't know how to answer his son's question. Was he okay? Right then, he wasn't feeling much of anything. Mostly, he felt... empty.

 

"He's gone," Magnus whispered simply. 

 

Rafael's stoic exterior cracked and his lip started to quiver as he glanced in the direction of the bed. Magnus noticed the tear tracks down his cheeks and the puffiness of his eyes.

 

"I know, Papa. I know."

 

The pain in his voice was the first thing since he'd hit the floor that really touched Magnus. The paternal part of him ignited and fueled him to act. He couldn't do anything to help himself, but he could be there for his children.

 

Magnus grabbed his son's hand and pulled him close. Immediately, Rafael buried his head in the crook of his father's neck and started sobbing.

 

"Max," Magnus called out. He heard hurried footsteps and looked up to see his other son rushing to join him. He practically collapsed next to Magnus and clung to him like he might fall apart otherwise. This was the younger warlock's first real taste of the loss that would follow him around for eternity. Magnus knew that this would be the death that would keep him up at night for centuries, the one that would still hurt even as the Sun died and they ceased to exist. 

 

Magnus held onto his boys with all of the strength he had left. That was all he was capable of doing right now. All he could do was grip them tight and whisper that everything was going to be alright.

 

"Magnus."

 

He looked up and saw Isabelle watching the three of them with tears in her eyes.

 

"Izzy," he breathed. He could barely look her in the eye. Over the years, she had become the closest thing he'd ever had to a sister. Today, he'd failed her. He'd let Alec, the most important person in her world, slip away. "I'm sorry. I tried to-"

 

She waved him off, not letting him finish. She knelt down in front of him and placed a reassuring hand on his knee. 

 

"I know you did," she replied with a sniffle. Isabelle attempted to smile, but it was grim and half-hearted. She pushed a silver lock of hair behind her ear. "Right now, though, all I care about is you and these boys. I need you three to go over to Clary and Jace's while I handle this."

 

Magnus was about to protest because what about her? What about–

 

Izzy seemed to read his mind. "I'll be there with you all soon,  _ cuñado.  _ I promise. I just need to take care of Alec, okay?"

 

Magnus didn't fail to notice the way her voice broke on her brother's name and how she was barely holding it together. 

 

Magnus nodded dazedly and he tried to rise to his feet. His legs nearly gave out, but Max and Rafael were right there to support him. Magnus tried to summon a portal, but his magic merely sparked at his fingertips. 

 

"It's okay, Papa. I've got it," Max murmured next to him. With a flourish of his hand, he conjured up a swirling, yellow portal.

 

They were just about to step through when something insistent tugged at his heart. Magnus inhaled a tremulous breath and steeled himself before daring one final glance back to the bed.

 

And there was Alec. Isabelle must've been fretting over him because the sheets were pulled up over his chest and his hair looked neater than his usual bed-head.   

 

A lone tear escaped and streaked down his face. 

 

_ Goodbye, Alexander. I love you,  _ Magnus thought silently when the words got caught in his throat. 

 

Then, he turned back around and followed his sons through the portal.

 

.

 

The next few days passed in a blur. Magnus locked himself away in Isabelle and Simon's guest room with an abundance of blankets and multiple bottles of whiskey. All of his energy was funneled into making sure the pain stayed dormant and buried deep in his soul. He didn't need to worry about anyone but himself once Max had portaled off to Italy to stay with one of his closest friends and Rafael had found his comfort in his wife and kids at the Institute. Magnus was free to hide from the world and pretend that he was okay.

 

Today, however, was Alexander's funeral and the first time he deemed it necessary to see other people. Magnus loved Alexander too much to even think about skipping it like he'd been skipping every other social gathering for the past four days. 

 

So, Magnus dressed himself plainly and in all white, the traditional color of mourning for Shadowhunters. He applied dark eyeliner with shaky hands and decided that was enough. He didn't have the energy for much more than the basics. 

 

When Magnus entered the funeral, he felt just as empty as he'd felt the day Alec had died. Magnus, somehow, had managed to separate himself from all of his emotions and was left with nothing. 

 

Rafael, as head of the Institute, was running the funeral. He tried desperately to keep his voice from wavering as he called to Magnus and Max. 

 

"Those remaining will take their place with the fallen."

 

Magnus placed a guiding hand on Max's back and they walked together to stand at the front of the room. As Magnus looked out to the crowd, he saw all of his friends doing their best to stay strong. Izzy was holding onto Simon's hand with such intensity that Magnus was surprised she hadn't broken it already. Clary was biting her lip and Jace was rubbing absently at where the Parabatai rune had now faded. Catarina, Raphael, and Madzie were on the other side of the aisle, all three staring at Magnus with sympathy in their eyes. Maia was in the crowd too, wiping at her eyes and obviously trying to hide it. Magnus was glad they were here.

 

"Those remaining will say the name of the fallen."

 

At that, Magnus let his gaze drop to Alec's body, which had been covered in a white cloth and adorned with deep red flower petals. Seeing him like this was almost enough for everything to come rushing back, almost enough to send Magnus down into the spiral he'd been trying to avoid. This brief moment of feeling was enough to have his magic pulsing under his skin again and feeding on the morsel of emotion that had slipped through the crack in his armor. He took a breath to force it back into the recesses of his heart. 

 

"Alexander Lightwood-Bane," Magnus answered, keeping his voice steady through the sheer power of his will.

 

"Dad," Max whispered softly, reaching out to touch Alec's arm.

 

" _ Pulvis et umbra sumrus,"  _ the crowd said in unison. "For we are dust and shadows.  _ Ave atque vale.  _ Hail and farewell."

 

Magnus and Max moved to stand with the others as Rafael and the Silent Brothers finished the ceremony. Magnus curled his hands into fists as another bit of his magic flared inside him when Alec's angelic grace and soul were so brilliantly floating towards the heavens. It was almost as if his magic recognized the essence of his husband and was physically straining against Magnus to be reunited with it. Magnus usually loved his magic, but, in that moment, he hated it for challenging the control he struggled to maintain and threatening to break the dam he had built to keep himself from confronting what had happened. 

 

Magnus forced his eyes away from the ceremony before it destroyed any semblance of restraint that was left in him.

 

.

 

After a long and draining reception at the Institute, Magnus and his closest family members and friends returned to the loft for the first time since Alec had passed away. The place felt foreign and strange now. It didn't feel like home without Alec and Magnus felt no comfort as he elegantly draped himself over one of the chairs with a glass of whiskey. 

 

Everyone found somewhere to sit, but no one spoke. It was like they were lost without Alec here to lead the way. He always had been their leader, the one to hold them together through thick and thin. With him gone, none of them even knew where to start.

 

"Papa," Raf said, breaking the silence. Magnus looked up from his drink. 

 

"Yes?"

 

"How are you doing?"

 

What a question that was. Everyone shifted a little in their seats, anxious to hear how he responded. Magnus had left them horribly uninformed about his current state over the past few days. 

 

"As well as can be expected," he replied vaguely. His lips twitched into a mirthless and bitter smile. 

 

"What does that even mean?" Rafael sighed and placed his head in his hands. "You have to let us in. We can't help you if you shut us out."

 

"It means that I'm feeling exactly like I should after losing my husband of fifty years and that I'm coping just fine. Thank you for your concern."

 

Magnus knew he was being harsh, but he couldn't help it. He needed them to leave him be so he could keep himself together. The grief wouldn't be able to kill him if he kept it at bay. That's all he needed to do: survive this. He needed to survive until the crushing weight on his chest went away.

 

"Right. Coping," Rafael scoffed and eyed the glass in Magnus' hand. Magnus pursed his lips.

 

"Rafael, enough," Max cut in. "He doesn't need your judgement right now."

 

Rafael's frown deepened, but he didn't continue speaking. Magnus tossed Max a thankful nod.

 

Again, the room descended into quiet, but now a sense of uneasiness had settled in the air. No one wanted to get in the middle of whatever had just happened between Rafael and Magnus. The silence was too much for Magnus and he needed the distraction that came with conversation.

 

"I just realized I'm being a horrible host," Magnus said as he sat up straighter in his chair. "Can I get anyone anything? Something to eat maybe?"

 

They all shared a few nods and Maia was the first one to speak. "That'd be great, Magnus. Thank you."

 

From that point on, some speck of normalcy returned. Magnus whipped up some sandwiches in the kitchen with help from Madzie and Catarina. Raphael decided he was in charge of the cocktails, which were quite obviously non-alcoholic. He tried to engage with everyone as much as he could and it seemed to be going well enough. While they ate, Magnus, Jace, and Simon chatted at the table about some new nerdy movie that Simon wanted to go see. Maia, Clary, and Izzy were sat on the couch and really smiling for the first time in days. As the room became filled with the voices of the people he loved, the loft felt warmer and brighter. The air of mourning was dissipating as they found solace in each other's company. 

 

Eventually, they all migrated back together in the living room. Clary pulled Magnus down to sit between her and Izzy and the women dragged him into a conversation about the Versace fashion show he'd attended two months ago. This was easy. He could fake the smiles so well that he almost forgot he wasn't actually happy. He could rant and rave about a show that he barely even remembered and make it come off as lively and enthusiastic. Over the years, Magnus had perfected the lie of being okay. 

 

"Hey, Magnus?" Simon called.

 

"Yes, Si?"

 

"You mind if I turn on one of your records? Your collection is out of this world."    

 

Magnus waved his hand airily. "By all means."

 

Magnus resumed his conversation with Isabelle and Clary, but his attention was quickly pulled away when the music started. He felt a twinge in his chest at the first note. His magic sparked briefly at his fingertips. His sisters-in-law exchanged a worried glance and the question was clear in their eyes. 

 

"Not this one," he murmured. "Please, tell Simon to pick another record. I can't listen to this one."

 

Magnus had listened to this album so many times that he knew it better than most that had been out for a century. This record had always been Alec's favorite. Alec had it picked out for a date night long before they'd even gotten engaged and it had become his most treasured album almost instantly. Magnus remembered with a shuddery breath how they'd even danced to one of the songs at their wedding. He couldn't hear this and keep up his mask. 

 

Isabelle squeezed his shoulder and nodded. "Of course."

 

Isabelle got up from her seat and walked over to her husband. 

 

"You okay?" Clary asked from beside him.

 

"I'm fine, biscuit," he sighed. 

 

Clary chewed at her lip. "I know you probably don't want to hear it right now, Magnus, but it's okay to not be fine. In fact, I think you've said that to everyone here at least a million times. Why won't you listen to your own advice?"

 

Magnus stared at her helplessly. 

 

"I can't," he answered in a voice so low that he barely even heard himself. 

 

"Why not?"

 

The tenderness in her voice chipped away at the stone surrounding his heart. The pressure in his chest grew sharper, piercing and unrelenting. His pulse sped up as he struggled to remain intact.

 

"I just can't."

 

He stood up suddenly. Why did she have to bring the subject up again? Why couldn't they all just let him live in peace? Why were they all so determined to see him fall apart? 

 

Clary stood to join him. "Please, Magnus. He would hate to see you this way. He'd hate seeing you so closed off. Why can't you just let yourself mourn?"

 

She tried to reach for his hand, but he wrenched himself away. Magnus realized that everyone was watching them now, but he didn't care. He was sick and tired of everyone meddling in his business and not letting him handle this on his own.

 

"What do you want me to say, Clary? Do you want me to say that I miss him? That I can't fucking breathe without him? That I don't know who I am without him? Is that what you wanted to hear?"

 

Clary gaped at him, absolutely dumbfounded. 

 

He didn't give her the chance to respond. He couldn't have stopped the words if he tried.

 

"Because that's the truth. I miss him more than I even understand. Every time I hear his name it feels like I'm drowning, like the ground is going to swallow me whole. You asked me why I can't let myself mourn. That's why. Because if I do, all of that comes rushing back and I don't know if I'll survive it. Because then it's real and I can't ignore it anymore. I can't ignore the fact that Alec is dead and he's  _ never _ coming back."

 

Magnus stopped when he realized what he'd done. For the first time, he'd said it out loud.

 

_ Alec was dead _ . 

 

The walls he'd built instantly came crashing down and the full force of it all wrapped itself around his throat. 

 

_ Alec was dead. Alec was dead. Alec was dead. _

 

Magnus felt his magic come alive and it sprung out of his palms, uncontrollable in its ferocity. It flamed so hot that Magnus felt like he was burning alive. 

 

"Magnus!" Catarina shouted from across the room. He heard other people yelling but it was all just noise to him.

 

A sob escaped as he tried to rein in the magic but it was useless. It fueled itself on his anguish, of which he had an inexhaustible supply. His whole body shook with the force of it.

 

"Everyone give him space!" Catarina ordered. She then looked to Magnus warily. "Magnus, you need to calm down."

 

He tried to control it, but Alec's face kept flashing in his mind and the crimson flames flared with even greater fervor.

 

"I can't, C-Cat," Magnus cried.  "Alexander is dead and I-"

 

Magnus couldn't even finish his sentence. He was struggling to breathe as he thought of hazel eyes and calloused fingertips and stark, black runes etched into skin. He'd never get to see those things again. 

 

_ Dead. Dead. Dead. _

 

"I know, hon, and I'm so sorry," she replied. "But you need to try to relax or you're going to hurt someone."

 

At that, Magnus looked around at his family. Isabelle was in tears as she watched him. Jace had his hand firmly on Clary's shoulder from when he'd pulled her away from Magnus. Madzie had buried her face in the crook of Raphael's neck and he wrapped a protective arm around her. Simon was standing perfectly still and had unshed tears in his eyes. Maia was holding onto Max and Rafael as they strained against her to get to Magnus. The boys looked heartbroken as they saw their father crumbling right in front of them.  The one common thread between them, though, the one emotion he saw on all of their faces, was fear. They were afraid of Magnus.

 

"I'm sorry," he choked out.

 

He needed to get out of here. He didn't want them to be afraid of him. He didn't want to accidentally do something he couldn't take back. With a frenzied flourish of his hand, he summoned a pulsing and angry-looking portal. Magnus spared them all one final glance before running through it. The trip was violent and rough. He was thrown so off balance that he landed face first in the grass when the portal spat him out. 

 

Finally, he stopped holding back and let his magic take over. If he'd thought it hurt before, it was nothing compared to how it ripped itself out of his body now and shot out in all directions. His whole being was alight as his misery overcame him. The worst part wasn't even the way his magic ravaged him; the worst part was the way his soul was imploding in on itself now that Alec's gravity was no longer there to counteract his own. 

 

Magnus screamed at the unfairness of it all. Alec shouldn't have died. He should have woken up and kissed Magnus breathless. He should have hugged his kids and laughed with his siblings over breakfast. He should have spent his afternoon catching up on his reading or cleaning the loft by hand even though Magnus still insisted he could do it with just a snap of his fingers. And if for some godforsaken reason Alec had to die, then he should've at least been able to say goodbye. He shouldn't have left Magnus with no warning, no explanation, no intimation that the 'I love you' Alec had whispered into the night would be the last to ever cross his lips. 

 

Magnus hadn't been ready to lose him. He'd believed that he had at least another ten years with Alec. They'd already made it so far and Alec hadn't done field work in decades. They were supposed to be in the clear now that Alec wasn't constantly in harm's way. Magnus had finally stopped worrying every time Alec walked out the door. But it didn't matter. It didn't matter that he wasn't a soldier anymore. It didn't matter that the most exciting thing he did at the Institute was paperwork. It didn't matter that Alec was planning to retire altogether in a few weeks or that they were preparing to spend the summer abroad in Spain. It didn't matter because he died anyway. 

 

Now, Magnus was left aching and broken in a patch of scorched earth and blazing grass. The sky was filled with dark, thundering clouds and scarlet lightning. The amount of energy he was expelling seemed infinite and would have left him nearly dead on any other day. Today, through, the grief was the gasoline to his fire. If left unchecked, Magnus was sure the world would burn.

 

.

 

_ "Please, you have to let me go to him!" _

 

_ The Angel frowned. "We learned our lesson with your parabatai, Shadowhunter. The angels will not resurrect another of your kind. I cannot allow it." _

 

_ "Slow down, brother. We need not give him life again." _

 

_ "Explain yourself, Ithuriel." _

 

_ "We can provide him with a temporary form. It would be insubstantial and incomplete in nature, but a form all the same. It would allow him to appear before the warlock and still remain deceased." _

 

_ "Yes!" the Shadowhunter exclaimed. "Anything, please. All I need is ten minutes by his side." _

 

_ Raziel scrutinized him closely.  _

 

_ "Why should Heaven grant you this, Nephilim? Why do you deserve this when so many others have not received such a gift?" _

 

_ "I don't," he answered simply. "I don't deserve this, but he does. He fought valiantly by my side to put an end to Valentine Morgenstern and the Circle. He has worked with the Shadowhunters for centuries. He will carry on the legacy of peace established between the Downworlders and the Shadowhunters. He deserves this." _

 

_ A small smile graced Raziel's lips. _

 

_ "Your selflessness is admirable and your intentions are pure. I will allow you to return to Earth for ten minutes. Use your time wisely, Alexander Gideon Lightwood." _

 

_. _

 

Magnus groaned as another surge of magic poured into the ground under his hands.  

 

"Damn, what did that grass ever do to you?"

 

Magnus froze and the flow of magic faltered in surprise. That voice was all too familiar and it made him shiver. When Magnus raised his eyes, his heart clenched and quivered. 

 

_ Alexander.  _

 

"Go away," Magnus pleaded feebly. 

 

Alec frowned. Magnus observed him carefully. He looked like Alec when they first met. He was a devastating visage of dark, messy hair, lean muscles, and long legs. He appeared so young, but the way he spoke was smooth and assured in the way Alec had only learned later in life. 

 

"I thought you'd be happy to see me," he said.

 

Magnus shook his head. "Maybe I would be if I thought it was actually you. I have the sense to know that you're either some shape shifting demon sent by my father to torture me or you're just in my head, a figment of my own sadistic brain. You're not my Alexander, not really."

 

"I'm not a demon, Magnus. Ask me something only the two of us would know."

 

Magnus thought for a moment. 

 

"When things get crazy-" Magnus started.

 

Alec smiled quietly and finished, "Don't push me away."

 

Hope fluttered in him, but he quickly pushed it down. Hope only leads to hurt. 

 

"That doesn't mean you're real. You could still be in my head."

 

"I could be," Alec said, "but I'm not. I can't prove it to you now, but I can prove it later. When you go home, there will be a letter in my bedside drawer. If it's there, you'll know this is real. For now, though, I need you to have faith. I don't have much time here, Magnus, so I need you to trust me. Can you do that for me?"

 

Magnus considered him for a minute. What did he have to lose? What bad could come from indulging in this little fantasy?

 

"I've never trusted anyone more."

 

Alec breathed a sigh of relief and knelt down in front of Magnus. The red magic brushed his knees but Alec didn't seem to feel it. He just moved in closer, but not close enough to touch Magnus. 

 

"You need to calm down, Magnus," Alec said. 

 

"I can't," Magnus panted, his throat sore and raw. "You're gone and it  _ hurts,  _ Alexander. I feel like I'm dying."

 

Alec grimaced. "I know, baby. I'm so sorry. I didn't want to go. I didn't want to leave you yet."

 

"Then why did you?"

 

"It was my time," Alec answered. 

 

"That's bullshit."

 

"You're right. It is bullshit, but here we are."

 

Magnus squeezed his eyes shut. This was too much—hearing his voice, seeing his face. 

 

"I still need you," Magnus whispered like a secret into the space between them.

 

"I'm right here."

 

Magnus couldn't hold back anymore. He threw himself into his lover's arms. He wept into his shirt and soaked it through with tears. Alec didn't feel completely solid or like he was made of flesh and blood, but his aura was still pure Alec. He felt like Alec's soul, warm and safe and so full of love. Magnus ran his fingers through Alec's hair and tried to memorize this shadow of his husband. Alec just rocked him gently and rubbed circles into his back with his thumb.

 

"Shh, Magnus. You're okay. I've got you," Alec soothed. 

 

"You shouldn't be gone. I tried to save you, but I failed. It's my fault."

 

"No, it's not. This is not your fault, my love. It's not anyone's fault. Sometimes people just die and there isn't anything you can do to change that."

 

"I can't do this anymore," Magnus whimpered into Alec's neck as another pulse of magic wracked through him. "I can't keep losing people I love. First, it was my mother. Then, it was Ragnor. Now, it's you. Who will be next? Isabelle? Rafael? Max? Soon enough, everyone will be gone and I-" 

 

Magnus cut himself off with an inconsolable sob and Alec held on even tighter. 

 

"It's not fair, Magnus. I understand. I wish things were different. I'm sorry."

 

Magnus clung to his every word. He'd thought he'd never hear  Alec's voice again. Even if this was all in his head, he wanted to remember everything. 

 

Eventually, after a few minutes with Alec wrapped around him and his voice in his ear, Magnus started to settle. His magic slowly dissolved into the air. With it gone, he felt lightheaded and dizzy, but he was cooling down and the shooting pain eased into a dull throb of exertion. 

 

Alec pulled back, but placed a gentle hand on Magnus' cheek at his small whine of protest. He turned his head to take in their surroundings.

 

"Where are we?"

 

Magnus' lips flicked upward momentarily. "Gores Island. It's been uninhabited since the nineteenth century. I figured some privacy would be nice."

 

"That makes sense. I don't think most people would take too kindly to a grieving warlock setting their land on fire."

 

Magnus let out a strangled laugh. Only Alec could make him laugh when he was still in tears. He leaned forward and rested his forehead against Alec's. A weary sigh escaped his mouth. 

 

"I miss you so much, Alexander. I don't know how I survived the past four days without you and I don't think I can stomach many more."

 

"You can do it. I promise. You'll make it through this."

 

"You don't know that."

 

"I do because you are strong and brave and you have so many people who love you. If anyone could survive this, it's you."

 

"Alexander, you were my strength, my bravery. I'm nothing without you."

 

Alec huffed out a disbelieving breath. "That's not true. No one weak endures four hundred years of heartbreak and still manages to love again. No coward knows the universe has ten thousand more ways to hurt him and gets out of bed and faces the day anyway. You did all of that long before I showed up."

 

Magnus was speechless. Even in death, Alec managed to always say exactly what he needed to hear. 

 

"And," Alec continued, "if you need me, I'll always be here. You may not see me, but know that I'm listening. Know that I'll always be with you."

 

Magnus nodded and was about to speak when a rumble of thunder sounded in the sky.

 

Alec glared at the clouds before turning back to Magnus. 

 

"I'm afraid that's my cue to leave. Raziel didn't want to send me down in the first place. It'd be stupid to test him. He might smite me or something."

 

Magnus actually smiled as they got to their feet. As soon as they were standing, Alec pulled Magnus to his chest. 

 

"I love you. Don't ever forget that."

 

"I love you too, Alexander. I will never forget you. I don't think I could even if I tried."

 

Alec pressed a lingering kiss to Magnus' cheek first and followed it with a brief brush of their lips. 

 

"Take care of yourself, okay? And make sure the boys and my siblings know I love them, please."

 

"Of course,  _ sayang.  _ Of course."

 

Alec sucked in a deep breath before backing away. Magnus noticed the tears on his husband's face. 

 

"Alright, this is goodbye. I love you, Magnus Lightwood-Bane. I hope you live a beautiful life."

 

And with that, Alec disappeared into thin air. 

 

.

 

Magnus remained on Gores Island for another two hours after Alec left. Magnus was too drained to even think about conjuring up a portal. All he could do was lie back on the seared grass, stare into the sky, and listen to his heartbeat pound in his chest. 

 

Seeing Alec again had been simultaneously the best and worst thing that could've happened to Magnus. On one hand, it had just been one more reminder of everything he'd lost. Alec was dead and that was only a ghost of him, a mere shade of the man he'd been. On the other hand, Alec had brought him the comfort he'd been so desperately craving over the past few days, the comfort that he couldn't find at the bottom of a bottle or under the covers in the dead of night. When Alec said everything was going to be okay, Magnus believed him. Maybe it would take months or maybe it would take years, but he would heal. He'd bear the scars of grief for the rest of his immortal life, but they'd grow softer and fainter with time. 

 

When Magnus finally made it back to the loft, the sun was setting over Brooklyn and his home was awash with orange light. He noticed that all remnants of the earlier gathering had been cleaned up and a note rested on his coffee table. 

 

_ We all hope you're okay. We love you, Magnus. I took care of the loft so don't worry about it. Let me know you made it home safe ~ Catarina _

 

Magnus smiled and sent his friend a quick fire message to assure her he was alright before heading for the bedroom. He stopped at the door, fingers hesitant to turn the knob. Could he do this? Could he go back to the bed that Alexander had died in? With a shake of his head and a stuttering breath, Magnus opened the door. 

 

For some reason, Magnus had expected the room to look different, but it wasn't. The bed was made, duvet smoothed out and tucked neatly under the pillows. Magnus' rings and necklaces were strewn haphazardly on the bureau. Alec's glasses were folded on top of the book he'd been reading at night. His stele was still sitting on the bedside table. This was the exact scene Magnus had walked into thousands of times before. The only difference was that Alec wasn't here. 

 

Almost in a trance, Magnus prepared himself for bed. He was exhausted and heartsick and in desperate need of sleep. He pulled on one of Alec's old oversized sweatshirts and stripped out of his white, form-fitting dress pants. He went into the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror. Black streaks of eyeliner ran down his cheeks as a memorial to his tears, and he quickly wiped it away. His hair was wild and untamed. His cat eyes were on display, but they were tired and dim. Overall, Magnus looked like crap. It didn't matter, though, since all he was going to do was slip under the sheets and pass out. 

 

Magnus practically collapsed into the bed and let out a deep sigh. He unconsciously pulled Alec's pillow to his chest and inhaled the remnants of Alec's scent left in the fabric. This was going to be the closest thing Magnus would ever have to holding his husband again and it brought him only the barest amount of comfort. It would have to be enough. 

 

Just as Magnus was about to close his eyes, he remembered something Alec had said to him earlier. He moved so fast that he nearly fell out of the bed. He opened the drawer to Alec's bedside table and he gasped. There, nestled among the rest of Alec's things, was a letter with Magnus' name on it. 

 

With trembling hands, Magnus opened the letter.

 

_ Dear Magnus, _

 

_ Last night, we brought Rafael home and it feels like our family is finally complete. I thought our family was perfect when it was just you, Max, and me, but something feels right with Rafael here. It's like we were waiting for him. I don't have all the words to explain it, but when I watched you sing him to sleep last night I got the feeling that you'd understand.  _

 

_ I started thinking this morning about how his parents died. One day, everything was normal. He was in his Institute with people who loved him and he had a good life. Then, suddenly,  it was all gone. I started thinking about how it could happen again. Shadowhunting isn't exactly a safe job. What if, Angel forbid, something happens to me? What if I leave the three of you alone?  _

 

_ So, if you're reading this, I'm dead. I don't plan on you reading this anytime soon, at least I hope you don't. I want to see Max and Rafael grow up. I want to see our tenth, twentieth, and thirtieth anniversaries. I want to see our grandchildren. But, even if I don't, even if I die tomorrow, I don't want to leave anything unsaid.  _

 

_ I guess I should start with I love you. I know by now I must've told you a thousand times, but you will always deserve to hear it. You make this world worth living in, Magnus. When everything feels like it's going to hell, I see you and the world isn't so dark. You are proof that good things do happen and that miracles are real. I can't even express how lucky I am to have you in my life, to have you as my husband. Before we met, I was lost. I didn't know who I was or what I was put here to do. Then, I met you and that all changed. You helped me accept myself and taught me that it isn't selfish to be happy. It isn't wrong to be true to yourself. I met you and suddenly I had something to give my life meaning. I was made to love you with everything I had and to work with you to shape the world into one I wanted to live in. I can't thank you enough for this. _

 

_ You are my best friend, Magnus. You are my partner, the one person I love more than anything else. That's what is making this so hard to write. I don't want to think about a time when I'm no longer standing by your side or seeing your face when I wake up in the morning or holding your hand as we walk to that little Thai place you love on Monroe Street. I don't want to think of a world where there's no you and me.  _

 

_ But I have to because someday that's going be reality. There's going to be a day when I'm not there to hold you close or kiss you goodnight. That's why I needed to write this and tell you everything.  _

 

_ Now, I hear you and the kids in the living room. I think you're having a dance party. I don't want to miss that, so I'm going to wrap this up.  _

 

_ Just remember: _

 

_ I love you, Magnus. So so much. _

 

_ Yours forever, _

 

_ Alexander _

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first every malec fic so let me know what you think! Kudos and comments are much appreciated <3 
> 
> My tumblr: sky-eyes-castiel  
> My twitter: abbynormal63


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